I am posting my problem in this section,cause my wife of 17 years has cheated several times,never feels bad,but argues,and yells that she is not having sex with the men she wants to hang out with,but is only friends with them.She talks with them on phone,and says she is visting girls,but there are always guys over the girls house.I need advice ,and what do I tell her to convince her that there doesn't have to be sex,and that she is hurting me by seeing men.We also have two kids.
Steve

MrSteve:<p>Read all you can on this site, and get into counselling, first for yourself, and then for both of you, if you can get your W to go.<p>What she 'wants' with these relationships with other men is emotional affairs (EAs), which are far more dangerous to their marriages for women than they are for men, because emotional attactments are more important for women than sex, and since it's the other way around for most men, it's easy for one of them to "give her what she wants" to "get what they want" in the end. <p>Sounds like you and your W don't know enough about what constitutes an affair to prevent one from happening, or to properly "recover" from your wife's previous affairs. You need to learn all you can from this site for yourself, and also find out if your marriage is what you and your wife want anyway. <p>Take care, this is very hard. I'm sorry you're having to come here, but you've come to the right place if rebuilding your marriage is what's important to you.

In your post you indicate that your wife has cheated on you several times. The question is why have you allowed this kind of behavour to continue over a 17 year period. What makes her want to go outside the marriage for attention. What kind of relationship do you have with your wife? Have you gone for counselling? Do you have proof that there has been inappropriate behaviour by your wife with other men that would stand up in a courtroom or is it only a suspicion. In my opinion you need to get an objective evaluation of your marriage and find out what steps can be taken to make the marriage more healthy.