My WS went through terrible withdrawl went he tried to stay away from the OP for 3 weeks. So he decided it must be me he was unhappy with so he went to live with her. Will he experience any withdrawl from me?? I had done a really good Plan A for 6 Months of course since the A was going on did that make any differnce. He did notice changes because he said I did everything he could possibly do but it was his problem. He can't stay away from her. Just curious if they can feel withdrawl from spouses too??

Three weeks?!?! Geez, that's not even enough time to get over a caffeine addiction...I know from experience [img]images/icons/tongue.gif" border="0[/img] <p>No, he will not experience withdrawl from you, because he is not currently addicted to you...but yes, he can definatly begin to come to his senses and experience REALITY...and will come to miss you and things about you. If people were REALLY interested in knowing the TRUTH behind their feelings...they'd give it 6months to a year...not a measly few weeks.<p>Anyway, I am sorry for your pain. Let's hope reality drops down on him like a ton of bricks!!!

Hello,<p>I see that you are fairly new. Welcome. MB will be an important source of strength for you.<p>You ask if WH will suffer withdrawal from you. Unfortunately the WS is on such an emotional high with the OW while the A is in full swing that the connection between WS and OP is more intense than the conncetion between the WS and the BS. (After all, you are the source of his unhappiness. Isn't that what he tells you?) <p>Leaving the OP is like withdrawing from an addictive drug. Not so with leaving the "troublesome" BS, although he may miss some of the comforts of home. <p>HOWEVER, if you can remain patient and concentrate on yourself and the children (if you have them) while the A runs its course, it is likely that the fantasy will begin to unravel and your H will one day be shocked to realize what he has given up to be with OW. <p>THEN he may begin to pine for what used to be and commit to doing what is necessary to regain your trust. It happened for other couples. I hope that it will happen for you.<p>For now, realize that there is nothing you can do, no action you can take to make your H leave the A. But you can maintain your grace and dignity and work on letting your best qualities show. <p>Wishing you peace of mind and a good outcome to your situation.
Estes

Thank you for your replies. He doesn't see it as withdrawl just a desire to be with her. He said he needs to see if this is real. He called today and didn't seem real happy still so confused. I wished he had moved into a place of his own for awhile for my daughters sake but I guess this way reality will hit faster. Seems he's already doing home repairs!!

KTF;
Well, for starters, your "handle" says it all; keep the faith!<p>Bring us up to speed; did he end the A?, and tell you he did?, and then go back to OW? Were you already working on your M recovery?<p>In any case, it is normal for "withdrawl" to take much longer than he gave it. Many talk about 12-18-24 months. I would concur with the other posters in that the "fantasy life" he's expecting with the OW will quickly turn into the "reality" of living with someone, and that might be one of the better ways for a WS to realize the grass is not always greener in fantasy-land. Many, many marriages have been re-built after something like this, so keep the faith, try to understand the feelings he's having (I know, it'll be very hard), and if you can, continue your Plan A behavior. Then you have the best chance at his wanting to come back when reality strikes; and it will!
Space

Thanks for the words of encouragement. He's been cakeeating for awhile told him to make decision.
Decided to do what was right for his family and marriage and end it with her. After only 3 weeks he couldn't stay away from her and moved in with her. I just bumped my story up. It is under needs advice.

Hi --
Our stories are very similar. My H said he ended it with OW to do what was right. That lasted for 1 month (although he still talked to her during this time). He said that he didn't want to live without her, and moved in with her. It has been two months now and H says he still isn't sure that OW is really what he wants. He says he is considering coming back home. This is very painful for me, but I want our marriage to work. So, I really feel as if I don't have much choice. Feel free to email me if you would like to chat. My email is momwiththree@comcast.net.<p>Know you are not alone!

Thank you sad at home. I had so much hope for our recovery. Three weeks ago today we were on a Carribean Cruise and today he is gone. It just hurts so much. I can't believe the pull they have over them.
My biggest concern all weekend was my daughter having to spend weekends there. I don't want her anywhere near her or her teenage son. What is my husband thinking. I have suggested that he come to visit her here on Sat. and I may leave. I don't know. I think I may be able to prevent overnight stays as long as he is living with her but I'm not sure. My mind is racing. He's only been gone 5 days. I stll don't think he knows what he wants. He said today he wants to see this through whatever that means. Thanks for caring.

KTF--
I understand about your daughter. I told my H that until I legally have to, he will not take the children to where he is living. He comes to see them here at our home two days a week and he stays for a couple of hours. I was going to try to get legal separation papers that prevented him from having the children around the OW, but I haven't needed to so far.
You are in my prayers!

keeping faith, My H left me for OW, then came home after about 4 months. We went on a cruise. He continued to see OW after we returned and kicked me out and moved her in after less than a month. Now, one year later, he seems to be finally ending relationship with OW because she had sex with another man at the beginning of their A.<p>H is totally focused on how OW made him feel "humiliated and insignificant" by having sex with another man. He is going through withdrawal from OW and has admitted that part of withdrawal at this point is withdrawal from being apart from me for the past 1.5 years.

Thanks for the encouragement. Do you ever wonder why such intelligent men make such stupid decisions. Do they still go through withdrawl if reality sets in and life with OW is not all that great and she LB's like crazy??

anyone???