After almost 25 years of marriage and at least 3 incidences of cheating that I am aware of I still love him. I am so very tired at this point of being the forgiving one. I am hurt and angry and don't know where to turn next. Should we get counseling or try to make things work ourselves. It seems I am the one who always has to make the changes to go forward. I am not perfect by any means but I just don't know how or what to do anymore. Is there any hope for us?

Yes! There is hope for your marriage, esp. if your serial cheating wayward spouse is willing to take steps to protect himself from his own weaknesses?! Do you think he would/could?<p>Can you print some of the basic concepts and/or articles from this site to share with him?<p>You guys have been married for a long time to just walk away from all you have established. Nevertheless, Plan A is a good start for you to lay down the law about what you are willing to accept from this point forward (NO MORE OTHER WOMEN!)!!<p>The Emotional Needs questionnaire is another good place. Read about Love Busters. Introduce your H to the Concept of the Love Bank. Try to see where your relationship is missing filling needs on both sides.<p>Pointing the finger at what your husband has done is of no use unless you both can figure out WHY and address the WHY's. Just my thoughts. WELCOME HUGS to you! [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] If you're on MB, you definitely have hope! Hang in there, I know you're hurting A LOT. I don't think anyone gets numb to this kind of pain. BUT, I think if you are willing to allow God to change what can be changed about YOU, you'll be a better you in the long run. Good luck!

Jackie - it's especially difficult when there have been multiple affairs throughout the relationship. It's all of the hideous emotional crap and betrayal of the affair, compounded by so many doubts and self-accusations about why you keep taking him back and trying. Am I in love, or am just a doormat; am I committed to our relationship, or just too big a coward to leave. It makes everything that much harder.<p>Can you fix it? No, *you* can't. But I believe that together you and your WH can save your relationship, and that there is hope if he is willing to do the work, make the commitment and follow it through. Great principles here on this site; I found the book His Needs, Her Needs to be very helpful. Didn't get as much out of Torn Asunder, but if your WH is a thoughtful type, he might have some real revelations from it.