I don't know if you read my last reply to the previous letter you sent, but I think this one is much better as I do not sense your anger in the letter. It wouldn't hurt for you to relay to him in the letter exactly how and what he has hurt within you. Never know maybee reading what pain he has caused may bring a shred of guilt. When I wrote my letter to my wife, I forced her to sit down, and listen to me while I read it, I let her know that if she could give me any respect after all that happened listening to the letter was it. She listened, and was quite visibly shaken, but in the long run chose to go back to the other guy anyways. We haven't talked in over one week as I just gave the letter last week, but not hearing her voice, and her constantly giving me a shred of hope, only to dash the hope has made the last week alot easier to handle. Should you or should you not ever get back at with your husband, the terms you relayed to him in the letter are not something I think you will ever feel bad about. Let him be the one to feel guilty for the next however long. Take care of yourself. For info sake here is the letter I read to my wife when I chose to go the way I am presently. I have set a time frame for my wife to pull out of the relationship of two weeks, at which time I will begin legal proceedings toward separation. What choice do we have, living in limbo with five kids, while she tries to figure things out could take years. Not something I feel is fair for the children or I.<p>April 16, 2002<p>Dearest Wife<p> I find it very hard to talk at present without getting caught up in emotion. Within the last month a lot has happened that has changed the world we both live in. Over the last few years things changed so fast, there was so much on the go in our lives that from my viewpoint I failed to recognize the one person that needed me the most, my wife #####e. In failing to provide you with the attention, love, and support you needed, while getting caught up in the kids lives and my work, I did not provide you with the love and companionship you most urgently needed from me. I take responsibility for not providing you with the love and caring you deserved, but did not get, as I focused on the children and my work. This was very unfair, and for this I am truly sorry. Unfortunately you felt the need to find another man to provide you with the attention you needed, and were forced to run from the relationship, instead of trying to work through these trying times with me. For this I am very hurt with the choice you made.
Presently I find my self moving through a series of emotions, which include anger, sadness, confusion, frustration, but most of all loneliness. The children, and home are not the same without you in them, and my heart grows week thinking that you may not want to be with me. In marrying you I did truly commit to spend my life with you until eternity, through better or worse, while in sickness and health. At present I understand that you are in a situation where another man is providing you with the emotional satisfaction that I failed to provide you with. I also understand that as every day passes you will grow closer to him, until such time as he becomes your true love. The thought of this is one that I presently face and must deal with. I have only love for you in my heart at present, and know that I cannot share you with another man. As time passes and your heart grows fonder for this man, I believe it places me in a situation that I can only ask you to immediately stop seeing this man, and break off all contact with him. If you will do this I will do everything in my power to help you to get on your feet, while giving you room to think about what your future holds, and if our relationship is something you want to work with me on. In order to break off all contact with this man, I believe staying in %&%#& is not an option, due to the temptation of resuming any affairs, as well as the need for the children have regular contact with their mother.
Since I know I cannot share you with another man, I must presently isolate myself from you until we can decide if the relationship can be saved, or if we must proceed with a legal separation and divorce. This provides you with the space you need to decide what your future holds, and if I am going to be a part of it. At the same time I must work to resolve a number of issues that I have been fighting with over the last number of years, including the issues I have around learning to trust others, believing in myself, and my childhood issues with separation from my birth mother. I will not stand in your way of being able to see the children, and spend time with the children, but must do what I feel is best for the children. The present choice you have made to spend time with a stranger in the eyes of the children and myself is not the environment I think is good for the children to be raised in. Until you are able to decide where your heart lies, or take some time completely by yourself with no contact of any other man, I would ask you to only call to talk to the children daily at 7:00 PM (^$^*^%# time. If you have any other matters or concerns for the children I would ask you to relay them through #$^ or #$^65. I do not like the idea of having to completely cut-off communication with you, but as long as you choose to continue seeing another man, I cannot see the children and myself getting on with our own lives as you have chose to. As every time I talk to you I find I get my hopes up that some hope for our relationship may exist. In making the above requests I do in no way want to give you the impression that I do not love you or that I want our relationship to end. I merely need to let you know we cannot continue in the present limbo state.
As I look back on the 12 years we have been together I am filled with many good memories, and a deep love for you. The time we spent together, and the way we grew to love each other is the most special gift you gave to me. In thinking of our relationship and talking to other people I will always refer to you as an excellent mother, my wife, my best friend, and my lover for the wonderful time we have spent together. I pray every night that we will be able to work through the problems, and be able to spend an eternity together. I loved you the first day I met you, all through the past twelve years, presently love you, and will continue to always hold a special place in my heart for you regardless of what happens between us. I have come to understand that in a marriage children, and friends are only with you for a number of years, but your spouse and true love is with you till the time you pass on from this world, for this they are the one person you must cherish, trust, care for, and love for all of your time, that being your spouse. The bond between a husband and wife must be the strongest bond, and have the most attention paid to it to keep it strong. I love you @#%@$#^ and hope you will consider all we have shared and can continue to share. <p>Love Always Your Husband
