just read tonight how my H screwed his little tramp today! I lost it. I ended up telling him about what the PI found out as well. He of course - denies everything.<p>He keeps saying I want to save the family and my favourite "I'm trying" to end it with her. I of course said "I thought it was over" -no comment. I have asked him again and again to move out. He keeps saying you can't kick me out of my own house and won't leave so I will have no choice but to get a court order. I can't believe this is my life.<p>I can't stop crying. I have moved him back into the guestroom and told him I'm going to see a lawyer. (appt with shark on Friday) I hate it when he doesn't even answer me or talk to me - he just sits there ignoring me.<p>He actually had the nerve to say "it hasen't been a walk in the park" with me - the nerve! And his only thing "you never liked my friends" "even the counsellor said that could be why I did what I did". Any excuse.<p>I'm so sad. I can't believe I was so gullible and foolish to allow this to happen again. I know I had him here for reasons but to be truthful I have been putting off seeing the lawyer - I kept hoping and hoping there would be a change. He would see the light. I thought it was happening a bit. he was being somewhat nice, took me to dinner and a movie this weekend and gave me a really nice kiss this morning - all lies all acts. I feel so foolish. I have no choice now but to follow through.<p>I feel so alone.. so alone.<p>I keep blaming myself. What did I do?
does he really want her? Was this the plan to drive me over the edge? Well, I'M OVER.<p>I hope one day (I say this everyday) he'll be sorry. He had a wife that loved him and two beautiful kids and he threw it away for a slut. I love him so, so much. too much.<p>Why does this hurt so bad. It's worse than d-day.<p>Do they ever feel sorry? He says he's sorry but not sorry enough to get rid of her.<p>Do you think he's planning something? Do you think he'll even care when he's being served?<p>How do I handle things now on the homefront?

It does not appear as if he is going to give you any space, while he continues to rub your face in what he has done. I do believe you need to take the appropriate steps to take care of yourself and the kids, he is choosing to do the things he is doing at present regardless of the hurt it causes you and the kids. If that means going to a lawyer, I would suggest that immediately. At present it sounds like he does not believe you are going to call him on his actions. Yet somehow you need to get away from him for a while to get things straight in your own head. When my wife left me, and I found out about the affair she was kind enough to leave, actually she chose to move in with the other guy. Then I was able to get clear and straighten out my head, things became alot clearer what I needed to do. Presently I know where she is and what she is doing, but handle it fairly well because I know now that I can control my future. Now she is starting to feel the pressure of what she has done, and not knowing what she stands to lose. I don't know if people that have affairs ever have the power to regret or to feel bad about their choices, but as I know the pain I have felt I know the happiness I will one day feel again. People that do not feel guilt or regret also do not have the power to feel happiness, and that is one emotion I would not give up for anything. I hope in talking to the lawyer you can find something that will assist you in giving yourself some space.

You have done all that you can do in this situation. The only recourse you have now is a legal one.<p>Like others have said, please contact a good attorney right away. Tell him that your husband is openly flaunting his mistress and you want him out of your home and away from your children, but he refuses to leave and insists that he ca have you both.<p>Find out what your rights are, especially if *you* have to be the one to move out (and make sure you know how this affects things legally before you do move, even if only temporarily.)<p>You could even call the police department -- not 911, just their information line -- and tell them you want your husband out of your home on the grounds of emotional abuse and mental cruelty, but he refuses to leave. See what they say.<p>He thinks he's king of the world now, thinks he can have his wife and his girlfriend and there's nothing you can do about it. You need him out of your life NOW. Call the attorney and call the police department. Don't let the sun set on his @ss in your house even one more time.<p>good luck
psycho_b***h

It sounds like to me that your WH is using intimidation to control you. He thinks by threatening, being rude, playing you etc, he can continue to have his cake and eat it too. He's being very cruel. And it seems with by his actions that he is deliberately being cruel. No one deserves to go through that. I know it's hard to admit that someone you love and who used to love you is capable of such cruelty, but apparently some are. Taking away some of the good things in his life (you and the kiddos) may be the only way to make him come around.

he comes home tonight, calls from the office acting like everything is just peachy. Tried to talk to him tonight, he's crying (all BS) and saying he's so sorry (more bS). He's now worried because I told him I'm going to see a lawyer.<p>Our babysitter is even shocked at how he acts like everything is simply grand around here. <p>He plays with my mind. I know I need to see the lawyer and kick him out - it's so scary and so sad - I'm a stay at home mom and I feel so needy right now, I keep wondering how I'll make it, how much I love him and how much I want him still even if he is a jerk. It hurts/<p>Sometimes I think it's easier to pretend this isn't happening if only for a few moments because when I start to think about it, and them together in ALL ways, I hyperventilate and cry like a river.<p>Why is this happening? Why won't he end it with her? If he loves her so much why the hell doesn't he just move out?

i so don't want to file for a separation? but he won't end his A and I almost feel like it's being rubbed in my face.

Sweetie, look out for you and whomever you've got with you. If this is the only way to get him to end his affair, then it's the only way. It's in all three of your best interests. Keep that in mind. It's the Plan B approach and hopefully he will see the light through his "fog."<p>About your mental state, do you have a counselor? Do you have meds? Do you have a "person" to talk to face-to-face? Those are all important in battling depression.<p>HTH,<p>Hoping