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No Contact Letter & The Rebuild
#995726 04/22/02 10:04 PM
Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 71
L. A. Ca. US
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WS has taken another job away from the OM
Re: No Contact Letter & The Rebuild
#995727 04/22/02 10:10 PM
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Ooops! posted to soon.....<p>the WS hs left her job with the OM which is a great thing for us but, I/we have still not writen the "no Contact' letter. I feel she is making an honest effort and hate to LB and, Well you guys know....<p>Should I hold tight on the "Letter" or bring it up to her in a non LB way or? <p>DD: 8/00
Re: No Contact Letter & The Rebuild
#995728 04/23/02 12:58 AM
Joined: Apr 2002
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Do you believe taking a job away from the other man will stop her contact with him? Do you believe she took the other job away from him as a step to resolve your marriage issues? I think you need to make the decision based on how you answer these questions. Giving a little time to see how things go may be a good idea before proceeding, but I think I would put a time frame to this next step, and then evaluate at that time.
Re: No Contact Letter & The Rebuild
#995729 04/23/02 03:03 PM
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No contact is essential in recovery. But, you can't demand her or push her to write the letter. You can express your need to have the comfort that the letter would provide. You can offer to help her write it. My H never wrote a letter - in the 3 times he supposedly wanted to work on the marriage - and he always ended up contacting OW and the A would start back up again. It must be done in a non-LB manner, and POJA style. If your wife is willing to provide you the most comfort that the A is over, maybe she's willing to write a letter. I've seen many "wars" over the no-contact letter, and I'm not sure it's worth pushing that much for. <p>just a few thoughts, and a bump up ^ ^ for more input.

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