This is one of the letters my WH wrote to OW not long ago. Does it seem to you like a letter you write to an innocent friend?? They lived together for about 6 months, now she's gone back to her own country (her visa expired). My WH is planning to see her as soon as he can, he's phoning and emailing her in the meantime.<p>'your email delighted me. Everything you have ever done has pleased me.<p>The only things I have some trouble with are:<p>1 when you "vent your feelings" you lose calm, your voice becomes very "hostile sounding" even if YOU know it is not, and it really disturbs me because it sounds like you are very cross with me even on those times when you are not.<p>2 when you argue or debate with me you take things personally when mostly they are NEVER personal but usually academic exercises in reasoning - even if I sound passionate. I obviously upset you with the changes in MY voice just as changes in your voice upset me.<p>3 When you get passionate or angry or annoyed, you accuse as if I were a criminal in court, and you ignore my denials as if you were a prosecuter who KNOWS I am guilty.<p>Now I know I have some very upsetting charactericstics and habits too, but there are more than hundreds of my faults which make you upset so I will list the first dozen or so and let you complete the rest.<p>1 I am a smelly big animal
2 I like wrestling like a silly boy
3 I snore
4 I fart
5 I burp
6 I spit
7 I am a man
8 I am not Czech (OW is Czech)
9 I am overweight
10 I am usually right, except for those (rare) occasions when I am wrong [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]
11 I NEVER get lost or take wrong turns (except when I am lost)
12 I am always so calm when I should be hot blooded and angry
13 I am just as intelligence as you which means I find things you missed and you find things I missed in reasoning. Neither of us can be the "intellectual KING". <p>So you see I am at least 4 times as bad as you which makes me very very bad!! In the mean time I am very pleased to read what you wrote and glad to have helped you. I don't need your gratitude, just your love!<p>love from your (WH)'<p>It makes me sick to read all this. In some ways it hurts me more than if it had been a letter filled with sex, as this is much more intimate. Of course he doesn't mention as his faults that he's a betrayer, liar, thief, and cruel. But I guess when you're in the fog it seems much more of a negative to snore than to be an adulterer.<p>Does it seem to you that all was not well in their paradise?<p>Evensong<p>WH=49, OW=26
Plan B for 7 months
married 17 years, dated 1 1/2 years
Seperated, he's living in another city<p>[ April 23, 2002: Message edited by: Evensong ]</p>

Evensong I'm with you. It looks like trouble in paradise. I'm amazed that your H doesn't see it because it's clear as day. Talk about fog - he is so blinded by it he can't even see the nose on his own face.<p>Are you and he still living together? I'm sorry for your pain. WS's can be so blind to the hurt they cause.

Sounds like the money is running out!!! [img]images/icons/shocked.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Evensong, remember these words. They may come in handy one day. You know what I am hearing now? <p>I heard from H that he said those terms of endearment to the OW even though he said they were 'phony'. Cheeze, I don't recall any guns being held to his head...... Just more babble. <p>The point is that I now periodically recall his e-mails to the OW. That tends to simmer him down. He even asked how I could remember those words sooo well. I said, how could I not!?!?! They are embedded in my brain.....the part that I will recall when I am old and senile! LOL!!! [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] <p>L.

Thanks Tiny and Orchid,<p>My memory is truly awful, but the words WH wrote to OW I can recite in my sleep. It makes it all so real. He uses words to her that I so longed to hear myself, and writes things to OW he used to say to me. <p>After reading his letters I haven't been able to sleep for a while, but I'm still glad I did read them. He's very obviously infatuated and in la-la land, he never mentions me at all or that he's married. It's as if I've never existed for him, Plan B must make that much easier for him to maintain in his mind.<p>Evensong