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Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 57
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OP
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Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 57 |
Just had lunch with my Pastor/BIL (same person) to catch him up on what is going on, and he was very concerned that my W is seeing her OM during the time when a high-school girl from our church(daughter of very good friends) is babysitting. I told him that I agreed it was pretty disgusting, but kind of a secondary concern to me. He suggested talking to W about this - that it is wrong to involve this girl in her A without them knowing. <p>I'm in the "negotiating an end to the affair" stage now, so I'm not sure that this is the right thing to bring up. But I see his point. Opinions?
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Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 82
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Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 82 |
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Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 448
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Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 448 |
Hi Baffled - I think this is a distraction and possibly an LB right now. Even if your W agreed not to use this babysitter, she would find some other way to meet OM. Until she ends the affair. So if you truly have an opening to "negotiate an end to the affair", I suggest putting all your energy into that.<p>- Tom
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Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 5,247
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Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 5,247 |
This girl is not involved. She is being hired and paid to provide a service.<p>I assume that your wife isn't telling her that she's needed for babysitting so your wife can go meet the boyfriend.<p>I assume this girl has no idea how your wife is spending the time away from home.<p>If its not her, it would simply be someone else. Why on earth would you want to bring this up to your wife as an issue? What would you possibly gain from it?
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Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 57
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OP
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Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 57 |
I guess one reason to bring it up is to point out that it is not just us that are affected by the affair. True, the girl has no idea what W is doing while she is babysitting, but what about when/if she finds out? I think she will feel a bit betrayed/used - maybe even feel as if she were a part of it.
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