Ok, I need to know if this is just weird or what.... I knew my H had a couple of porn flicks..but when I was cleaning out our closet the other day I found a whole box of them.....40 of them!! And some are even teens.....ugh...
at least the names of the movies have teens in them, i'm not sure about the actual people in them.<p>He also has alot of those Maxim magazines, i've mentioned that I dont like those.....but his excuse is since I don't give him much sex, he needs something...... grrrrrr... it sure contradicts what our MC talked about that sex should be a spiritual thing connecting with God...

I won't get into a discussion about whether porn is right or wrong, Christian or non-Christian... but I will say this:<p>HIDDEN porn is just plain WRONG. The amount of porn you mention is EXCESSIVE, and the young people in porn sounds suspiciously ugly.<p>If he truly DOES have a problem with the amount of sex you give him, then why not just tell you to your face and say that he will be buying porn to satisfy that need?<p>Nope, something's up with that. <p>You're right to be concerned, I think.

CM,<p>If all the porn was hidden, hidden from you, you need to have a discussion about it with your H. Something very well could be wrong. If you knew nothing of it, you need to ask a direct question of why.<p>I personally have had porn in my house before I met W and after getting together I was open with her about having it. Come to think of it, I really have no idea where it is, probably haven't even seen the tapes in over 5 years. More than likely it is with some friend I have or had. Point being, I was open and honest about the tapes with W. To me that makes a big difference.<p>wwl

Confused Mom,<p>My opinion is that I do not think this is normal behavior. I think 40 pornographic movies is excessive and the fact that it is hidden could be a problem. Perhaps they have been there for a while but what if it had been one of your kids that found this mut and popped it into the VCR instead of you finding it? The TEENS issue is a minor concern...TEENS can mean that the actors are 18 or 19 years old which truthfully makes them teens but they are still of age. Sick to think of I know but that may explain it.<p>You have also mentioned to him that you do not like the Maxim magazines. I hate seeing this garbage in our home period. I don't care if it is women in their thongs on TV or busting out of their bikini tops on a magazine cover-I don't like seeing women being portrayed as nothing but sexual playthings. <p>You need to talk with your husband about it in a calm manner and soon. His comment makes it quite clear that he has SF needs that are going unfulfilled. Insulting you by saying he has to do something because you aren't putting out is not how you build a marriage.<p>Perhaps you could have a calm and kinhearted discussion with him about how you want to meet his sexual needs and how important it is to you but you ffeel replaced by these images of other women. In a calm way, let him know how much it hurts you. Perhaps you can come to a joint agreement with him...no more Maxim and no more porn and you agree to making love with him X times a week.<p>Bluebird

You mentioned that you had kids. Did you ever stop to think that maybe he was hiding them to keep the kids from finding them! Just a thought!<p>I think you should ask HIM. He could probably answer any questions you might have. I know that I have several, but they are old and rarely get watched. But, they are hidden in the closet to keep the kids from finding them!

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>it sure contradicts what our MC talked about that sex should be a spiritual thing connecting with God...<hr></blockquote><p>Just because your MC says this does not mean that your husband may agree with it. Remember, it's HIS point of view that matters (not the MC's). He definitely has a need that is being unfulfilled. I'm not condoning what he's done, but at least this gives you an idea of what needs you can focus on trying to meet.<p>-HD

Let's see...My unfaithful wife won't have sex with me because she sees me as undesirable. Therefore, I indulge in some porn; offensive to some, maybe but legal, and a I not violating my wedding vows. Suddenly I a sick and demented individual.<p>I am not confused_mom's husband, but I can certainly empathize with his point of view.

My H has a very high sex drive, so I know that men like this tend to need more stimulation and if they don't get it from their wife they will turn to porn and topless bars a lot of the time. If your H is telling you he isn't getting enough sex, then he could be very well turning to something like porn to get the stimulation he needs. A lot of women seem to think men need to get better control of themselves and not need it so much or have better judgement than to view such filth, so what do they do, hide it. Because men don't like to be told you can't do this, it makes them feel like a child. I am not saying I always used to think this way, in the earlier part of our marriage I wasn't as open and understanding. Now, I my sex drive is higher for some reason and I also have taken on a if you can't beat 'em, join 'em attitude. I have gone to a topless bar with my H, and I view porn with him sometimes. <p>This is JMHO [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]