It will be our anniversary next week and I just don't know what to get him. Or if in fact I should get him something. Things are going good but I just feel like buying him something would be phony. I know he ordered something for me so I would feel strange if he has a gift for me and I don't have one for him. <p>Have you still celebrated your anniversaries?<p>sty

Celebrate!!!! Celebrate the good that's happened, and the good that's to come. I asked a similar question a couple of weeks ago. I don't have a lot of time right now, but here is the link to my thread:<p>http://www.marriagebuilders.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic&f=37&t=016916<p>Hope it helps. Also, I'm sure you will get some other good answers. Good luck, and I'll check in tomorrow.

P.S. Here is another informative/supportive anniversary thread I started. I think some of the replies may help encourage you as well.<p>http://www.marriagebuilders.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic&f=37&t=016902<p>Take care.

my next anniv. will fall right in the midst of 1 yr. d-day. thats gonna suck. i have thought of this myself and even though i cant read the future i will probably not be in a great mood. i know he was in ea at this time, pa began in nov.<p>have no advice, just a know how you feel.

For reasons we have yet to discover, each of WS's affairs has started around our anniversary (although i secretly believe he is triggered by his own feelings of inadequacy at that time and goes in search of an easier way). After this last one, I am not sure how I can actively celebrate it again.

strongerthanyesterday....My anniversary is next week as well. I have mixed emotions how bout you? part of my is really happy with where we are right now. BUT part of me is really kinda down...it seems to be a major "trigger" as the last 2 anniversaries that I thought were so wonderful seem to be tainted now. <p>We went away last year and had a wonderful time. I bought my hubby a new wedding band last year (as his was broken) engraved with "forever & always". Now I know why he acted so weirded out and swore it did not fit....and did not get it sized to fit.<p>The good news is after D-day and we committed to make it work he started wearing it. AND now it fit since he had lost a bit of weight in the mess as well.<p>Anyway, I think I am gonna leave some of it up to him as far as celebration & making it special. He did pretty good at Valentines day. Hope I don't get dissapointed but I feel like he should be able to do this. Do you think that is wrong? <p>The hard part is he always made them special before. 2 anniversaries ago he took time to go buy a cd just so he could play me this song cuz he said it made him think of me. <p>It was aTim McGraw's song that had the lyrics... your more than a lover, there could never be another to love me the way you do. Oh, we just get closer, I fall in love all over, everytime I look at you. I don't know where I'de be without you here with me. Life with you makes perfect sense, your my bestfriend. <p>He cried as he danced with me when he played. I thought because he was so happy...now I know the ea/pa was going on then. <p>Hope this did not bumm you out. I just wanted to vent to someone who probably understands. <p>I hope we both have wonderful anniversaries and we can focus on the good now...hopefully it will help ease the pain of the anniversaries during the "bad time of the A".<p>So, what are you gonna do? If I had NOT gotten his new wedding band last year...I would have this year. I don't know if I am gonna focus on gifts so much as I want to maybe renew our vows to each other (just the two of us) kinda a new beggingin? what do ya think?

I expect the anniversary of the date I married him will now always be a day of mourning for me. I don't plan to do anything except maybe tell him how I feel about it. I hope he has the sensitivity to do nothing except apologize for ruining that day. I told him on D-day that I didn't want the old M, that if we stayed together, it would have to be a whole new M with a new wedding date, rings, etc., but right now I wouldn't "marry" him if he asked me. Neither of us wears rings. What that day represents to me is the day my life was stolen from me under false pretenses. I have nothing to celebrate on that day.<p>I think you should do what makes you the most comfortable.

What's with all the anniversary D-days?
Our 23rd anniversary will fall on D-day. [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Although we are recovering, I told my H that I never want to refer to our anniversary again, the date will be erased.<p>This might seem harsh to some, but to me a recovering marriage due to infidelity has forever lost the magic that it had when the vows were spoken.<p>We are together, and will probably make it, but I can never again celebrate a day of innocence when I gave my heart and soul to another person who would eventually betray me...<p>[ April 26, 2002: Message edited by: Ladysing58 ]</p>