And let us not forget "Tho shall not covet thy neighbor's wife"

Estes - <p>Yes, I have read some of your posts and did know that it was your son that was the BS. I was not say "you" as in you personally. I meant "you" as a general term. I apologize if you took those comments personally - they were not aimed at you. There were just some things I had been thinking about. I guess I just wanted to make the point that we are all capable - we all do not choose to do the same things.....however, we all are just as capable of doing them.<p>Yes, there are the 10 Commandments. However, any sin committed separates us from God. It doesn't matter if its a lie, adultery, covetousness, pride, etc. I was just making the point that we all sin - in human eyes, some are worse than others, and I do realize that some sins have more painful and more lasting consquences. I am not trying to minimize anything here. I guess I'm just rambling.....I'm tired. Sorry! Thank you for your kind response. It was not my intention to offend you.

Hi NC20505,<p>I agree with you that any sin separates us from God, and that we are all sinners. And like Estes, not being well versed in scripture, I cannot quote the Bible.<p>I would say that I can't think of any other broken Commandment or sin where a person takes vows to love, cherish and honor another person till death parts you, to forsake all others. Where they spend sometimes decades with one another, and then one spouse breaks those vows and leaves the other and replaces them like they were a disposable item, a thing. And most times feels no responsibility for that pain, no empathy either. <p>To experience this betaryal is the only way you can know the pain. There is no other way, none. <p>So I guess that's why it "feels" like a greater sin to the BS. <p>Just some thoughts ....<p>God Bless,
Jo

Dear NC20505,<p>No offense taken, really. I teach junior high. I can take just about anything. [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Estes

Well Friends,<p>The other shoe may have just fallen. This morning, S went to see MC (by himself). Today happens to be the one-year anniversary of WDIL's departure. It also is the day that DIL told MC to tell S that she wants the D. (Did you follow all that?)<p>S attempted to contact DIL by cell phone, regular phone, and knocking on her door to talk to her face-to-face. No DIL to be found. Evidentally, she is in her well-practiced avoidance mode. S has already called his lawyer.<p>The oh-too-real soap opera continues. I do believe that this may be for real.<p>Later,
Estes

Dearest Estes,<p>I can imagine what must be going thru your S's mind and heart. I know he must be feeling a gamet of emotions, with some panic mixed in there. At least that's how I felt. I also know you must hurt terribly for him. <p>Is DIL a conflict avoider? I have to tell you that her having the MC tell your son, instead of telling him herself is a bit hard to understand, what a chicken's way out. It may very well be that having to confront your son with the reality of Divorce would certainly punch some holes in her easy fantasy life. Reality is no fun, and she choses not to participate for as long as she can avoid it. <p>How is your son? How is he taking the news, Estes?<p>Jo

Hi Jo,<p>Thanks for your interest in S's situation. Over the past year he has slowly lost love and respect for DIL. His feelings are numb, but he still kept hope that she would work with him on a Harley-style plan to rebuild the love and respect.<p>It just did not work. His next move is to see that DIL moves forward with the D, not comtinue to stall. <p>I am anxious to hear how his face-to-face meeting with her re: her desire to proceed with the D goes. Yes, she is and avoider. Remember that she filed for D on April 9 of last year and did not tell him. He only found out that she had filed when the office of the court showed up with the subpoena on April 19. She was out the door on May 1.<p>S is OK considering. He had, of course held out a glimmer of hope, and is deeply sad, but I think he is ready to proceed with what must be done.<p>I feel sad. What a year. (As you can identify with, unfortunately)<p>Estes

So sorry, Estes.<p>I guess it's time, your S cannot wait forever. With no decisions made must have felt like a black cloud hanging over his head. This way he can start anew. Begin to heal ... <p>I've been hanging out on the D/D board some, and lately there have been several old timers who have shown posting their ex's (WS) have crashed and burned with the OP. It's very interesting to say the least. What is sad is the BS's have moved on, no love left. They even feel empathy for the WS's situation .... too ironic.<p>Please keep us updated, Estes. Altho your son may feel like it's time, emotions run pretty deep when it comes down to the wire, yanno?<p>Lv,
Jo