I'm ooking for some advice since you seem to be one person that responded that may know some of what my wife is experiencing. Presently she has come back and has checked herself into the hospital. Personnaly I don't know is she can handle anything at all, the kids, being at home, or anything. She indicates it is all so hard at present and just wants to run, but I believe knows if she runs again she will be following in her mother and siblings footsteps. Ultimately I think she is more scared of losing her kids. Unfortunately for her I care to much about the kids, and knows I can raise the kids without her that she knows I will fight for custody. She has also never been on her own, and is scared because she dosen't know if she can make it by herself for a while. A few questions you may be able to answer, first will medication help her as far as understanding the choices she is making, choosing to stay in contact with the other man at present? Based on her fragile state do you believe I am better to let her back into the home immediately, or do I force her to stay out until she is clear of the person she is having the affair with, and is capable of handling the children? I have lots more of questions, but I will see if you want to reply to these ones first.

Lostinspace,<p>I don't know that I the answers to all of your questions, but I can tell you how things are with me.<p>I was given two different medications and have only been taking them now for a week and a half. It has slowed my brain down and has evened out my emotions. By this I mean I am not crying all the time.<p>Yes, to her at this time it does feel overwhelming and the easiest thing to do would be to run, and it would be the worst.<p>My therapist told me that he feels there are 4 groups of people....<p>1. I'm ok your ok
2. I'm ok your not ok
3. I'm not ok your ok
4. I'm not ok and your not ok <p>Says that I feels I am #3 and when I took the pills #4.<p>Now, by me being willing to be honest about all to him, he says it can change. I have to believe him because I know that I do not want to feel the way I do now forever.<p>Staying in contact with OM. Well, I'm sure from reading here, you know it should be NO WAY. And believe my it is hard. <p>It does get easier every day, but there are still times I want to pick up the phone. What I do instead is come here and read read read.<p>About letting her back into the home. I can't tell you what the right thing to do is. I know that by her coming to you instead of the Om means something. I would thing that she trusts you more than him.<p>See what happens while she is in the hospital. See if medication can stop the emotional roller coaster and just keep telling her you lover her.<p>My husband told me: Denise, wether we are together or apart in the future the most important thing is that you are well. Let's just take care of you now and when you are more well, we can work on us and what we will do then.<p>This meant a lot. <p>The kids, I love my kids and can't believe I ever thought I could live with out them. If I left them I would be abandening them just like my mother did to me and my brother and look at all the issues I have to overcome now because of it.<p>I know right at this moment it seems completely hopeless, and really, each day does get a little easier.<p>Today, I am feeling better than I have in months, in part to my husband and the therapist. Realizing that I will be ok and that I do not have to be perfect for anyone to like me. This is a big one for me.

Lost in space, just a bump so that you know I posted to your questions

Thanks for the reply. So she was released from the hospital after two and one half days. Presently she has chose to stay with a friend (female) in the town I am living in. I take this as a good thing because she hasn't gone back to the other place yet. Part of this is she dosen't have any money, so she would have to call him to get him to come and pick her up. She has come over to our house the last two afternoons, and cleaned as well as cooked supper for me and the kids. I find I have such mixed emotions about this, as she made the choice to leave all of us, now she is helping out. I don't have a clue what she is doing. She still says she is confused, and does not know if she is going to stay or leave. I have to admit that I am very quickly losing interest in anything at all as far as the relationship goes. It feels like at present I am trying to keep from putting much for pressure on her, while reassuring her that I love her, also while running around to get things for her, and raise the kids by myself. All at the same time she will not talk about anything she is feeling. If she gave me any indication that she wanted some time (By herself), I might be able to handle this, or that she wanted to work on the relationship I might be able to handle this. But keeping all of us in limbo while she decides if she wants to stay or go does not seem to be fair. A times I wish she would stay away entirely until she can decide what is going on. I have decided until she can committ to one thing be it good or bad, I will not communicate with her outside of the necessary talk. She asked tonight to go for a coffee tomorrow night, which I can only assume she will tell me she can't handle things here presently and will be leaving. I am prepared for this, and have talked to a lawyer. All I want is her to talk to me and let me know what she is feeling. Telling me she is confused, and dosen't know what she wants does not grow any hope in recovery. One piece of advice I can maybee offer you is to let your spouse know what you are feeling be it good or bad, most likley he is already thinking the worst.