WH still sees quite alot of the OW and her H and family, maybe 3 times a week, maybe more, they live around the corner (a 30 second walk). A source says they know a bit about whats been going on, but doesnt want to upset me with it. This would be third hand info. But they tell me not to give up hope. OWs H knows just about everything. <p>The past week WH has been so short in replys and has not made any effort to contact us. I feel like someones told him to cut contact with me. It just hurts today. And he always takes the baby seat and pram out of his car, says theres not much room in the front for people to sit???? Perhaps hes embarrassed someone will ask if hes got a baby why isnt he with his family? I'm even suspecting hes found another woman. Surely not? He said he wouldnt be dating for a long time...Whats going on? Will it really help to know or will it cause more heartbreak? I read Lostvas story and hope that like her, I woulnt be affected in my hope for reconciliation despite knowing 'things'. Ive added one more question I ask myself daily to Lostvas 3, Did I pray and release my H today? This is so hard. <p>And I have to be honest and say that most the time I dont hope for his happiness if it means we're not together. Is this selfish or what? Do you think the OW thinks the same way...that if she cant have him noone can, including me? How do I get to the point where I really do want him to find happiness, even without me? I just cant do it. I hate seing him hurting, yet I'm scared if he really likes his new life he wont ever consider me again. What is this?<p>Dancer

Hi Dancer, I know what you mean, I feel scared sometimes that H will like his new life and won't come back. I'm sick of feeling like this, so I've started doing "symbolic things".<p>H took a bedside table when he left, so I bought a nice plant stand, put some candles on it and some nice ornaments. I added some extra pillows to the bed, changed a couple of pictures and added a few exotic statues. I "excorcised" the spirit of the bad H from the room - don't worry this is all tongue in cheek, I've not been swallowing too much salt water. In any case, its made me feel much better, I'm planning to do similar things with the rest of the house.<p>When H came a week ago, he was surprised. With that and the book about "How to make great love to a man" I think it scared him a bit-maybe he thinks I've made a boudior to bring all my new boyfriends too-yeah right!! <p>Try to make your life, dance to your own rythm, not his.