1. I loved him and he said he loved me, and
because he asked me.<p>2. I was 19, a naive little girl<p>3. I wanted to feel safe, loved, cherished<p>4. I really did know most of his shortcomings
including infidelity while engaged(pursued my
best friend), he showed
remorse after getting caught, truly thought he
would not hurt me that way again.<p>5. Everybody else was getting married, it was the
thing to do in the 60's.<p>6. We were an item for a long time, it felt
comfortable, like a "good fit", I had no
interest whatsoever in any other man, (or boy
in this case).

<p>7. I had great admiration for his good qualities,
felt proud of him, I minimized any
shortcomings.<p>8. We had a very nice wedding planned, lots of
excitement, gifts, it was very "adult".<p>9. For the first time in my life I felt whole,
complete, like I had a purpose, a direction,
felt very important, felt OK with myself.<p>10.We had already had sex, I actually believed
that it meant he loved and wanted me for sure.<p>11.The thought of us not getting married was
incredibly painful, scary, unthinkable,
unacceptable. VEEERRY immature. <p>12.We had done everything else, marriage was the
next step.<p>13.I absolutely, really, truly did LOVE him.

He's a cute nerd--kind of like Clark Kent.<p>He woo'ed me by reciting part of the Iliad in Greek on our first date.<p>On our second date, out shopping at K-Mart (sounds like a fun date, huh?) during Halloween season, he was not above trying on all the masks in the costume aisle. I never laughed so hard in my entire life as I did when he put on the Sonic the Hedgehog mask and continued shopping.<p>Other than these reasons--<p>I would have to give the same answer any little kid gives when they have done something naughty that they didn't foresee the outcome of doing: "I dunno!"

Had to make my list so I could get a clear view of then vs now. We have a 36 year history, 33 years married. Right now the fear, pain, hurt, and confusion are overshadowing all the good stuff. Not a good time to make any sudden moves.

Because he was my best friend.

when we first met he wouldnt give up- i was separated for a year from ex-hubby. divorce was to be finalized in 1 week. i was 27 yrs old,had been married, had a child and was about to be divorced-i couldnt scare him away. he fell head over heals in love with me and wouldnt leave me alone.<p>when i finally let the walls down i realized he was responsible, caring loving and kind. he was gentle, and strong, and when he laughed, he has a laugh that reaches your soul and makes you happy. he became my best friend. he would do anything for us-myself and son. family was a huge priority for him-we wanted for nothing. <p>i could go on forever with reasons i fell in love with him-he was my knight in shining armour-not that i needed rescuing, we were fine. it was my heart that he saved.

Ironically enough considering his affair, because of his moral values. He was one of the few men I'd ever met who were as 'old fashioned' as I am.<p>Because of his gentleness.<p>Because I loved him.<p>Because he was good to me and we had fun together.<p>We both wanted a family and had the same goals.

because i thought that i could have a future with him...

Because he was a fellow BS and we KNEW neither of us would ever do that, knowing how devastating it was.<p>Because he had a close and long-term R with and commitment to God, and since I couldn't trust man, I was able to trust in his R with God instead.<p>Because he was honorable, honest, strong, faithful, true, conservative, moral, admirable.<p>Everything I now know he is not. [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img] <p>What did I miss? Where did I go wrong? I go over it and over it, and I cannot see anything I should have seen. We talked for hours about what each of us went through as a BS and how we would handle it if for some reason that came up in our upcoming M--we would tell the other person rather than stab them in the back! I followed through on this. He did not.<p>At least with my first husband, I can look back and see the mistakes I made in choosing to marry him--how I should have seen the makings of disaster. But with this one, I thought I had every base covered or at least anticipated. It never occurred to me that I'd just become another statistic this time around as well.<p>I don't know what to do other than to give up on M completely. I could go out, stop the next guy walking down the road, marry him and have as good or better chance of having a lasting R than using any of the criteria I've ever known or heard of.<p>[ April 30, 2002: Message edited by: Conqueror ]</p>

I married my H because:<p>1) We had a child together, and I wanted all 3 of us to have the same surname.<p>2) I really liked his family.<p>3) I did love him. Yes it's a bit in the past tense, but we went through a lot that obviously withdrew from my love bank. It was the obvious next step - to get married.<p>4) It was exciting. How naive was I???? [img]images/icons/rolleyes.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Karen

On our second date, he told me he was going to marry me. He never let up and I fell in love with him. We use to play 20 questions. I could ask him anything and he could ask me anything. I guess that was the last time we really communicated. And after 15 years, I still love him.

1. He was my first "true" love!<p>2. I wanted to be grown-up and live the rest of my life with the man of my dreams.<p>3. I wanted to show my parents what marriage was all about.<p>4. I had a deep desire to be out on my own after graduation from high school and marriage was a great alternative.<p>5. He is my high school sweetheart and when I think of him, to this day, I remember what first drew me to him......his wonderful smile, his gentleness and his great hiney....LOL!<p>6. Twenty-nine years later.....I still cherish his smile, his gentleness and his great butt!<p>7. BTW...I married him when I was nineteen and he was twenty.....both of us still wet behind the ears.<p>8. I love him STILL.....and he loves me [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img]

I loved him...and always have.

She is the one that I have waiting for ... the moment I saw her across the room I knew I want to be with her. She has my first kiss and my first love. -RH-

I'm grieving for how it was then. There's an old rock and roll song, about Jack and Diane. Don't know if that is the name of it or not. The lyrics are about two kids in the back seat of a car making out, and how they are doing the best they can. That is precisely how H and I were. I want another chance.

Replaced...<p>There's nothing wrong with doing the best that you can. [img]images/icons/cool.gif" border="0[/img] <p>
Little ditty about Jack and Diane
Two American kids growin' up in the heartland
Jackie gonna be a football star
Diane debutante backseat of Jackie's car
Suckin' on chili dogs outside the tastee freeze
Diane's sittin' on Jackie's lap
He's got his hand between her knees
Jackie say, "Hey Diane let's run off
Behind a shady tree
Dribble off those Bobby Brooks
Let me do what I please."
And Jackie say
Oh yeah life goes on
Long after the thrill of livin is gone
Oh yeay say life goes on
Long after the thrill of livin is gone, they walk on
Jackie sits back reflects his thoughts for the moment
Scratches his head and does his best James Dean.
Well you know Diane, we oughta run off to the city
Diane says "Baby, you ain't missin' nuth-in"
Jackie say-a <p>Chorus:
Gonna let it rock
Let it roll
Let the Bible Belt come and
Save my soul
Hold on to sixteen as long as you can
Changes come around real soon
Make us women and men
Little ditty about Jack and Diane
Two American kids done the best they can<p>[ May 01, 2002: Message edited by: Elad ]</p>

ELAD!!!<p>You absolutely made my day!!!!! [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/cool.gif" border="0[/img]

1. She was (is) my best friend.<p>2. She pursued me pretty hard for about 2 months. Her, I, and 2 friends of ours (a guy and girl) spent a LOT of time together in the summer of '88, having fun, going to the beach, crusing around... Was fun and relaxing. I wasn't interested in anything serious - I was 17 for goodness sakes... but it slowly got serious... took about 5 months and I was lost in love. Yeah, thinking back, I can see how those darn brain chemicals really make people act crazy!<p>3. We'd been going out for about 4 years... I knew there was no-one else I wanted to be with... it just made sense both logically and in the heart.<p>4. Even after the seratonin levels dropped off to more "manageable levels" [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] - she still treated me very well, and the "feeling" between us did turn into that long lasting, mature kind of love that we hope for. And her concern for me and "motherly" qualities likely (subconsciously) influenced me... after all, they're the kinds of things I want to see in the mother of my (future) kids.<p>[ May 01, 2002: Message edited by: J.R. ]</p>

Thanks Elad! Boy, I had half those words alllll wrong!!! tee-hee... I never understood them - just made-up what I thought - and never loooked them up. [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] <p>(I will never disclose how my version of the lyrics goes... [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/tongue.gif" border="0[/img] )

Was in Love.
ALSO: Got tired of the constant nagging from W and my mother of why we weren't married, and when were we going to.<p>I finally said F-it, pick a day and time and tell me where to be. This was after at least a year of the constant whining and nagging.<p>W wanted it more than I did, and she's the one that wondered off. GO FIGURE!!<p>wwl

Replaced--Glad I could make someone's day [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Faith1--I think I would love to hear your own lyrics [img]images/icons/tongue.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] <p>E