Found out about A about 1 1/2 wks. ago. It was with one OW, PA and EA lasting on and off 3 yrs. Husband told me because he said he wanted to end it. Since then, he has broken contact with OW and promised to not see/talk to her again. We've been talking more than ever and doing things together. Physically, I can't say that our relationship has ever been better. As far as communication, I know it hasn't.<p>Here's the problem...I can't sleep, every time I try to eat, I throw up, my stomach hurts all the time, I've been chain smoking like crazy, and I can't stop thinking about the whole A thing. <p>I'm doing Plan A, and it's going well, and hubby is really trying. When the hell will I feel okay again?

It took me 4-5 months, on anti-depressants to get me feet on the ground after d-day. Now a year later I still think of my H's affairs daily but have only one or two bad days a month. <p>It takes at least 2 years to recover from an affair. Expect to be on a roller coaster for some time.<p>I'm sorry to have to tell you this, I know you are hurting.

1 and 1/2 weeks...you are being much too hard on yourself. The wonderful book Torn Asunder ( you should get it and read it, also your H) says that however long the affair lasted from start to finish, is about how long it takes to really recover. <p>There is a great article at findarticles.com called 'Shattered Vows' that you will find helpful also.<p>My H's affair was 6 years ago, he lied to cover his *** and that of my former best friend whom he took into MY bed. I just found out 9 mos ago and have been heartbroken. This is what has helped us:<p>-counseling LOTS
-prayer
-journaling
-reading-there are wonderful books and articles available
-TIME
-forming a network of supportive friends
-crying (don't try to hide your feelings, they come back MUCH worse later)<p>This is the ultimate betrayal you can experience. It lasted 3 years. I'm glad your H is willing to work on things and has broken off ALL contact. HOwever, it will take lots of hard work on both your parts to overcome it. He has to completely see and feel all of your hurt, anger, depression, etc. in order to prevent it from happening again. You will need to figure out what emotional need (take the questionairre) this OW will meeting of his.<p>I wish you luck. It will be hard, but worth it. Keep posting

it takes a long time, quicker if you WS really is finished & if you are in a real recovery, longer if there are lots of set backs. I think I was dead inside for about 6 months, then we won't talk about last yr<p>but even if your marriage doesn't recover you will be happy again. For the 1st time in over 3 yrs I am happy, I wake up happy, I am happy most every day. I am sad that my marriage ended but I am happy now. <p>but which ever road your marriage takes you, you have a long way to go before you get over that sick feeling.<p>good luck, it is a long slow road.