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dear cali- i am sooooooo happy for you!!!!! enjoy you deserve it.
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[img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] <p>For some reason you have always filled me with hope since I started lurking on here BEFORE d-day... and I latched onto your posts for encouragement AFTER d-day. My H and I are in true recovery, but boy is it it hard [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img] . I am by no means sufficiently self aware yet, though I'm getting there...thanks for the wonderful posts...<p> [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img]
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Yay Cali!!! I really am SOOOOO happy for you!!!! [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] Thank you for sharing your success story with us. I remember reading success stories and they gave me hope to carry on, which is the best thing I could've done for ME. I have to tell you that seeing this also renews my faith and belief that marriage and love are real!! I'm struggling with this today. Seeing your energy helps me bunches.<p>To wrungout and other newbies, maybe Cali really will spell out her story for you sometime. It would be a valuable testimony of how to survive an affair. <p>From MY observations over the past year, these are the things that helped her get to this point: Her faith in God, her persistence in learning (reading, studying, asking questions), her deciding to take responsibility for herself (her mistakes, behaviors, and attitudes), her WILLINGNESS TO CARRY THE MARRIAGE ALONE, and her faith and belief and LOVE for her H.<p>{{{{{{{{Cali}}}}}}}
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Again thanks...<p> SpaceCase, Hurt & Sad, rdvpmm, kirby, 1stepatatime, can't sleep, Dancer, wrungout, & nikko... just keep on, keeping on! The important thing for me to keep in mind that winning wasn't just keeping my marriage... but in MY getting stronger. I would feel successful w/ or w/out H, because I know I can stand on my own two feet. That's my greatest success. That he's still with me just makes it very SWEET!<p> Elad, WAT, jeffers, Alberta, sing, MnM, SinkingFast, daybreak, Estes49, Z, WeRtrying, and Faith1 ... you guys got me through my LONG summer. You encouraged me. You set me on the right path, when I strayed. You reminded me about what was really important. As I was listing your names, I just had such a warm feeling. THANKS!<p>o... Estes... let's just say I was late for work... AGAIN! [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] <p>and Faith1... I am working on the long version of this... the writer in me wants to get it just right [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Hugs to all.<p>Cali
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Cali, Aw, that's so nice! [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] <p>My H wouldn't dream of walking out the door without kissing me, and we have a kiss whenever we meet...the second year brings even more healing.<p>Best wishes for the future!
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Cali-<p>Thanks for sharing this wonderful news with all of us. It couldn't have come at a better time for me.<p>Right now I am feeling so down, so depressed about the lack of any progress being made by either me or W. W even commented to me last night about how moody I have become. But, your post has given me renewed strength and has shown me that things can get better, we just have to be patient with both ourselves and the WS.<p>I hope that things keep on getting better for you, H and your M. Unfortunately for me, I make it to work on time every morning. [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img]
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[img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] <=========================> [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] . Praise to the Lord, your H starts to turn around. -RH-
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Hi Cali,<p>Lor is right. When you finally turn that corner it gets better and better. It's bittersweet the new men we get out of all this, but sweet nonetheless. Never stop enjoying each other and never take anything for granted. God's blessing to you both!
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OK Cali.<p>I'm a newbee but in recovery. I'm the wayward spouse and just posted a few days ago. Getting loads of help from people here.<p>I'm glad to be here. Good to see you giving hope to others.<p>So whats the "Kissing Thread"?? [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img] <p>I read something about it in one of your links. <p>Best of everything to you and your family.
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Cali, I just read your post from April 30,2002. It is so inspirational. MY H just called to tell me that he doesn't mean to hurt me and that he will try to be more respectful of my feelo=ings. that gives me a glimmer of hope. And right now that is all I have . Threads of hope.
Thanks!!
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Wow! it's fun to see stuff like this brought up...
an update...
It's gotten "gooder and gooder!"
DH and I were baptised together on June 16... Father's day... so much different from 2001 when he was making plans to leave!
We spent another summer house hunting... and actually found one... We moved in this weekend!
The "I love yous" are back in FORCE and he OFTEN goes out to the car in the morning... then doubles back to KISS me goodbye...
It is NOT all sweetness and light and as the STRESS of moving showed us we have to be VIGILENT not to revert to old behaviors... as he said, "we cannot ALLOW ourselves to go backwards..."
...and each day the bad memories fade, the fear lessens, and the love redoubles...
Hugs,
Cali
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Just sittin here with a big big grin on my face.... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> Which is also helpful in avoiding going down in the gameroom and cleaning it up... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> continued Grace to you and yours... ARK
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Taking a walk down memory lane doesn't hurt so much any more.
Can you believe it has been THREE years since d-day.
H is so normal that he makes these comments about 'affairs' that ABSOLUTELY drive me NUTS... it's like he doesn't even remember...
I heard from OWs H over the Christmas holidays. They are divorced and she is remarried... about 3 weeks after divorce was final. (I'm not sure if it is marriage 4 or 5... but I think it is 5.)
We are planning our 15th anniversary 'trip.' Maybe a cruise... maybe a revisit of our honeymoon...
But woo-hoo...
Recovery... it CAN happen.
Cali (InShockInCali was my 1st user name, then StrongerInCali, then TryingAgain... finally JustPlainCali... or Cali for short)
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</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by InShockinCali:
Cali (InShockInCali was my 1st user name, then StrongerInCali, then TryingAgain... finally JustPlainCali... or Cali for short)</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Big hugs to you, Cali. I'll never forget your's and Eff'd Ups struggles. I, like many, followed your story so closely. Felt like I knew you and your family. Always rooting for you.
I still remember the day I discovered you on here, I had taken a couple months hiates from MB, came to GQII to read and there you were "Hurricane Cali" LMAO ..... that day was priceless .... I, and many others, got to live vicariously thru you on that Hurricane day.
Gawd, this whole deal IS a process and not a destination, isn't it Cali.
Happy to see things are so good, your worked hard at rebuilding, and God has blessed you and family.
Very Best,
Jo
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Dear Cali. Thanks for sharing your story of love and the healing of your marriage. Beautiful! You will give hope to many hurting people tonight, to just hang in there and to keep on trying to be the best person they can be. To be nice and kind even when their heart is breaking and the rewards just might be a marriage recovery! Sincerely, Julie <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> Thank you! And don't ever let the kisses stop being the passionate kind of kisses! Too many married couples just do the 'pecks'! (That is what happened to us!)
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