Well today is the day that lots of our farm stuff & some furniture is being sold at a local clearance sale H has gone he asked me if i was going as have a lot of other people & I just couldn't face it. To have to stand there & see loads of stuff you have worked all your life for being bidded on just doesn't do it for me i'm afraid.<p>Well only about another week to ten days & we have to leave here. We had a friend of our sons stay the night the other night & he asked my H when he was moving out his reply was in about a week & I can't get out of here quick enough, hearing that just cut me to the bone, I can't believe he is acting like this I just feel sick.<p>I am going to our sons place thats 6hrs drive away from here when i leave & then i just don't know what to do. My furniture will remain in this village in storage here & I have actually been offered a job here & somewhere to rent, I really like it here although it's isolated I know i can feel safe going to the pub on my own etc etc.<p> My major problem is that i don't want to be seen like i am chasing him if i return (he doesn't know i've been offered work here) My next problem is that we have always been in business together (wev'e been together since i was 15 & i am now 44) I will eventually have to look at doing something with my money but not sure at this stage what it will be. I think that the job option (although it wouldnt be until August/Sept) would be a good option to take as it's probably the only place i would get a job & if i did that i wouldnt be dipping into my money from the sale of the farm as i know that i am not currently capable of making big financial decisions & don't want to make a big mistake.<p>I have told my H that contact whih him will stop from the day i leave here, he has ways of contacting me in an emergency through my friend.<p>H just seems so angry at the moment he came in this morning & he was just so mad that a friend hadn't returned some pumps that were meant to go in the sale he said they have stolen those pumps from us & I will bloody well tell them I really felt like saying well you have just stolen 30yrs of my life but i bit my tongue.<p>I told him about the books surving an affair & his needs her needs & said if he wanted to read them they were on the table he took one into the bedroom but then it was left thrown on the floor unread (well he may have read the first few pages) so i then wrote him a letter cause i had some stuff to explain to him & thats) the main way we communicate nowadays & I basically explained Dr Harleys ways in a very simplified manner maybe i shouldn't have done but i then went on to say this is exactly what happened to us & in Dr harleys method I used us as an example of what had happened. I see he has read the letter so i will now leave it at that I don't think that there is anything more i can do. I will be leaving here soon & won't have access to a computer for a while so am not sure how often i shall get back for support. Thanx

wrung out,
I dont know much of your story as I post on other child board, But I was reading your post and it just about broke my heart. I am so sorry for your pain and dont know how you are getting through it... I think you must be a very strong person. I just wanted you to know you were in my thoughts and prayers.
I had forgotten or blocked out all the abuse and devistation affairs cause this sight has reminded me.
My mother always say God doesnt give you more than you can handle.

Mom of 5
Thanks so much for your reply it's nice to know that there are people willing to listen on this board.

It is time to make your self happy now, and concentrate on you... my guess is you have been the one who held your family together all these years.
My husband cheated on me many times, I was always close to a nervouse breakdown and I do remember all the pain and devistation.
Unfortunately I ended up doing the same thing. I am ashamed and angry at my self for it. But I have taken responsibility and my husband and I work every day to repair the damage. But I know that is always a fine line to walk after what we have done to each other.
My husband did it many times more than I CAN count, but he started trying when I said I HAD ENOUGH AND WALKED AWAY. All of a sudden he wanted to work on it.
I am sure your husband is confused and angry at him self as well. Try and move on and maybe he will wake up and see what he has lost. And PRAY PRAY PRAY iT TRULY HELPS. .

wrungout,<p>I can't imagine the way this sale and move is hurting you. It is so unfair and you must feel so very helpless. I wish things were different for you. Please send a post whenever you can. <p>Thinking of you,
Estes

Wrungout,<p>Thank you for your comments on my post "My life is in ruins - How do you continue on?." My current situation pales in comparison. You seem to be a very strong person. I know already my challenge has made me a better person, and from the sound of it, your challenges has realy strengthened you. I wish you the best of luck. Remember that there is a whole big world out there with many kind and wonderful men. <p>I have noticed that people do not change unless God or a very emotional event changes them. I have also realized how life is similiar to a speeding bullet. Once events begin to occur the bullet is off and only a drastic interaction will change the course of the bullet. A twig may alter the bullet path slightly, but the direction is still the same.<p>I am getting stronger by the day, especially with help from friends and the replies from helpfull people such as yourself.<p>Thank You, and may God bless you.