Hi all--
Today my H dropped off the divorce papers for me to look over. Gosh...it's getting close to the end. 22yrs.....and then in 9 months....DONE!!! I still can't believe it. I still don't want this to happen....but I can't stop it. HE is so hooked on the OW. Maybe he really did stop loving me a long time ago. Such a sad thought and one that is so hard for me to believe and accept. <p>There are so many special events that are going to happen this month...prom...8th grade dance...graduation. This will be hard without having him at my side. I remember 2 yrs ago on our anniversary....we were at our favorite restaurant....we cried when we talked about our son going off to college. It isn't even going to bother him....because my H has already left him.<p>THis is all so disappointing.....sometimes I feel like such a failure!<p>MAX

I'm sorry for your sadness. It is frightening to be out of control of life-changing events. Your H is the biggest loser in this. YOU are NOT a failure!! Your WH failed your family. Remember, the A is NOT about you. It because H failed to protect HIS weaknesses. Things will get better (although it doesn't feel like it now) in time. You will heal. H must live with the moral consequences of what he has done forever. He may act satisfied, but he knows the truth.<p>Take care,
Estes

Wow stop the pity train FSA, you are not a failure!! Repeat that to yourself "I am not a failure, I am not a failure"<p>Your WH failed your marriage vows you did not, you did nothing to cause him to seek out the OW.<p>And yes he did love you as much as you have loved him, what he is saying now is FOG talk! He keeps saying it out loud so that he may come to believe it. You know what you know about your marriage and that is what is important!!! Don't let him get to you!! He wants you to believe the garbage that is coming from his mouth about your marriage and his love, it validates what he is doing and shows that you are ok with what he is doing if you start believing him, don't give him the satisfaction!!<p>Sorry, it just really hit close to home when I read your post. I am in about the same place as you are we have negotiated through everything and the waiting time is up on Sunday so the papers will come next week. WH is really pushing the garbage right now, trying to make himself feel ok about what he is doing. UGH!! I just turned it back on him in an e mail and said that yes the marriage sucked and I should've gotten out so much sooner yada, yada, yada (not that I believe any of this) but did get an e mail back that had a lot of anger in it!! And he has been nicer this week in correspondence.<p>Just don't fall for his line, believe what you know about your marriage it is what is true!!<p>I am so sorry that you are in this place tonight, I do hope that things get better for you!!<p>Take care, I will be here for a while if you want to talk!!!<p>Dawn [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]