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#998015 05/01/02 06:36 PM
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I see this mentioned alot but I don't know what it is?

#998016 05/01/02 06:47 PM
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STY; The "fog" refers to the state of mind the WS finds his/herself in during the A; a state that "clouds" their reasoning and logic, and prevents them from seeing that what they are doing is wrong and hurtful, and prevents them from ending the A, or deciding, or otherwise making the "right" decisions related to their M and their R.<p>This is a "quickie" definition, I would suggest reading Dr. Harley's Surviving an Affair, and visiting the Marriagebuilders.com Article and Q&A columns for more information.<p>Here's the basic description, taken from the Q&A column "What are Plan A and Plan B" found at:<p>What are Plan A and Plan B?<p> <blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr> plan A, an effort to end the affair with thoughtfulness and care, doesn't always work. In many cases a wayward spouse is so trapped by the addiction that he or she does not have the will-power to do the right thing. Once in a while the fog lifts and the cruelty and tragedy of the affair hits the betrayed spouse right between the eyes. In a moment of grief and guilt, he or she promises to end it. But then the pain of withdrawal symptoms often brings back the fog with all its excuses and rationalization, and the affair is on again.
<hr></blockquote>

#998017 05/01/02 06:48 PM
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it's the clouded thinking of an affair that confuses a normal person with morals and principles into doing something immoral and unprincipled...like an affair and cheating on one's spouse. It's called "the fog" because it clouds all thinking.<p>
The point about "the fog" is that it doesn't just confuse the person about his spouse, family, and affair partner, but confuses and reverses their thinking about so many matters that they used to be clear and principled about. The other favorite reference is that "aliens have stolen my spouse and replaced him/her with a look-alike that thinks nothing like my spouse."<p>When they are really thinking in uncharistic ways, we say that "the alien is back."<p>I'm sure others will want to chime in on this... [img]images/icons/confused.gif" border="0[/img]

#998018 05/01/02 06:52 PM
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i dont remember it exactly- something about MOOSE BRAINS! if anyone else remembers-chime in.

#998019 05/01/02 06:55 PM
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When I found out about my H's A with a co-worker, he quit his job and told her it was over. He hasn't been in contact with her since except for a letter that I approved telling her how sorry he was for hurting me and what they did was wrong etc. So by your definitions he isn't fogged right? But yet sometimes I don't think he understands the amount of pain he has put me in.<p> [img]images/icons/confused.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/rolleyes.gif" border="0[/img] <p>sty


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