D-day #2 has resulted in H wanting to save marriage. Has the light been seen? I don&#8217;t know yet &#8211; one day at a time &#8211; actions will speak to me this time around. My dilemma is the no contact letter. <p>H has copied the letter from SAA and I have it to mail today. H feels OW will freak when she receives letter. OW will know these are not his words and will pursue him for an explanation. H has agreed to never speak with OW again and we have a plan in place if contact happens by mistake. H fears OW will come here if she cannot reach him by phone (OW lives several states away). <p>I am scared and afraid to mail letter. H has offered to rewrite in his own words and &#8220;sugar-coat&#8221; it a little. What should I do? It&#8217;s bad enough my life is a soap opera - I don&#8217;t want it to turn into an episode from the Springer show. My D and her safety are my number 1 concern. What do I do? I want to mail that letter so much. Who&#8217;s to say she wouldn&#8217;t come even if he did sugar coated it? Am I worrying about something I have no control over? What if she is violent? I keep thinking Fatal Attraction! Aaahhhhh! Help me!

The Harley's strongly believe that the no-contact letter should go out just as it's written in the book; no edits. I panicked and freaked after d-day when I realized the the OW had an appointment to see my H. I raced down to his work and watched as he wrote a no-contact note to her. I put a stamp on it and mailed it. I wish I had known of the no-contact letter in SAA at that time; but we hadn't read that book yet. The OW called and left messages for my H 2 times after receiving the no contact note. He (says) he never returned any of her calls. She finally stopped calling. The relief was tremendous. The no contact letter in SAA is the best because it tells the OP that the spouse loves and respects his wife! Good luck, CSue

Twinkles;
Mail the letter. If the OP is going to react, she'll react not to who wrote the letter, but to the meaning of it. You can't control that, having him write it in his own words won't change that.<p>Make sure your H is prepared, give him support, and let him know your fears; he should support you in that too.

Thanks. I do want to mail it. In fact, I want to mail it registered mail! At first I wanted to send it fedex so OW would have it asap! LOL! [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img] <p>I just have that nagging hesitation.