Wednesday night my WW brought the OM to my daughter's dance rehearsal. This was their first big public outing and there were plenty of friends, neighbors and relatives around. I wasn't at the rehearsal but attended the recital Friday.<p>I was told Friday night, that while seated Wednesday, the OM had his arm around my W almost the entire evening. People told me they couldn't believe it. Yesterday, my W and the OM attended the recital and my daughter told me my W introduced the OM to my next door neighbors and to a lot of friends.<p>Is this extreme even for those in a deep fog? Never once during our marriage did my W express serious unhappiness. She told me on 1/12/02 about the affair but said they hadn't even dated at that time but wanted to begin and he was only a friend at that point. She said I couldn't have been a better husband or father but she just didn't love me any longer and I deserved better from a W. She moved out on 2/2 and since that point, she's told me she's never loved me, she loved me up until a couple years ago...you name it, she's had a different story about everything and the insults get worse as time goes on. She plans on building a house with the OM soon and our D could be final as early as 7/25. She said she's completely sure he's the love of her life and they'll be together forever. Thanks for your feedback.

First - ICK. [img]images/icons/shocked.gif" border="0[/img] I am so very sorry for your pain, and that she's embarrassing you, your daughter, and HERSELF, like this.<p>Unfortunately, yeah, it is somewhat normal -- although usually not so "out there" that I've ever heard of.<p>The divorce is filed? Signed? <p>The "I never loved you" is the cruelest thing to hear, I think, and said waaaaay too much by WS's. Neither my ex, nor I, ever said it, but we said the rest - "I love you, but am IN LOVE with OP"... some of it seems like it comes from a script.

Sounds pretty classic except the GALL to rush forward with EVERYTHING so fast! She is SUPER DUPER in the fog. I think she probably believes the world will be as happy for them as they are....boy is she in for a BIIIIIG surprise. I'm so sorry you are being put through this. Lets hope reality hits soon.

There are a couple funny things to point out about my situation. Dating back as far as I can remember (we've been together over 22 years and married over 18), my wife would comment about people who displayed their affection in public by kissing, hugging, etc... She would say these types of people have relationship problems and are trying to show everyone how happy they are when it's probably not true (not that I agree with that myself). Now here she is doing that same thing she used to complain about.<p>The second thing is that my wife was a cleaning fanatic and even did some things that bordered on obsessive compulsiveness. She told me she's no longer like that and the reason why she cleaned so much when with me is that it was a way for her to focus her attention on something other than how unhappy she was with me. My daugther was telling me last night that every night after the OM leaves her apartment, she complains about him setting his glass on the wood table and cleans it right away. My daughter asked her why she doesn't say something to him and she said she didn't want to get him mad. My daughter said my W also gets the vacuum cleaner out right away after he leaves and vacuums right away too. Guess maybe she hasn't changed but doesn't want him to see that side of her.

Ah, the water rings on the table she's not mentioning so he "won't get mad"... they are lovebusters (LB) to her... he will LB himself right out of her life in time...<p>Be patient...

djw - proof again that they all report to the same Mothership.<p>Further, I'll bet both your WS and mine had their brains scrambled by the same alien surgeon.<p>Her behavior should be all the proof you need to accept that you're not dealing with rational people. I bet your common friends that witnessed them together will form the right conclusions. Because they (WSs) cannot see their shame, this gives you the opportunity to stand tall and keep your dignity. Be a model Dad and do your best NOT to denigrate the infidels. No one can do a better job at this than they can.