There has been a marked shift in the way my ww feels. The recovery has been going great, much love and affection and reconcillation between us, forgiveness is total, but her spirits are plunging and she is feeling "very bad about herself." The OM went so quietly and moved in with a hardbody so quickly that ww is feeling "used and abused." Time and the ability to relect have resulted in reassessments of his character from the fantasy great guy to the reality selfish jerk, and the recent reawakening to the quality and depth of our love for each other has I suspect made her feel even more remorseful. Haven't been able to think of much more to say other than I love you, forgive you, think you are great, people make mistakes, its over now and we'll be better off than ever so don't beat yourself up about it. Any ww's out there who found a way up and out from the guilt and dispair ? BS's what have you found that worked for your ww's? I have another more strange and specific question that will be the subject of a new post,please weigh in on that too if ypou have the time, Thanks,<p>Jack

jack--<p>What I told my WW as she goes thru depression and withdrawal is that some walks you have to make on your own. And I truly believe every WS who wants to rebuild their marriage has to go thru a similar scenario.<p>But what I also told her is that even though that walk may be alone, (although there is always a spiritual presence if you allow Him in) that doesn't mean that there isn't someone at the end of the path waiting for you with love and concern.<p>I guess all you can do is be there for her and continue to tell her you love her and forgive her and hope that she finds the inner strength she needs to deal with her own demons. I think most people can if they know that no matter what, they are loved.<p>Good luck <p>E