My wife goes to happy hour about once a month w/ friends at work (most of which are men}. About a month ago she asked if I minded if she went for drinks after work b/c a coworker from out of town was taking a new job w/ the company and would not be back. I later found out that only her and this guy "showed up". She didn't get home until 10:00 pm. Last week she went to happy hour w/ four other men. She told me it was for someone's last day. She returned home at 11:00pm. I asked who was all there and she mentioned this "out of town guy" again was there (along with the other three guys)and she and him were the last to leave. (I saw a credit card reciept for the bar they were at was closed out at 7:30). She said it they all ate first and I assume they closed the tab after dinner (company expense). When I asked what time everyone left she got very defensive and would not tell and just walked away. Since then she has told me that her and this guy were alone the last 45 minutes. She has had a close male friend a couple of years ago who moved away who she also who she went to happy hour many times with (also a coworker). I never confronted her about him, but I always had doubts. Both men are married w/ children. She gave me a guilt trip about me not wanting her to male friends and socialize w/ coworkers. She says nothing is going on. Do I believe her? Do I ask the last person leave what time he left?

you are right to question this behavior because to be honest from what I've learned - If you have a feeling something is going on there is a good chance it is....<p>I dont have any advice on how to find out - I would follow my WS next time he went to happy hour but thats me<p>Good luck and I hope you dont find anything but be prepared for what you might find when you start digging

Do not ask the last person what time they left. This is between you and your W. <p>If it bothers you then tell her it bothers you. If she continues despite the fact that it bothers you, then something IS going on. She is placing her male friendships at a higher regard then her H feelings. That is unacceptable.<p>It took my H 6 years to admit his "friendship" was a PA.<p>Read everything you can about this site.

I am agreeing, if you think its something to worry about, she should be worried. PLAN A PLAN A PLAN A. Best of luck. s

Next time - I would join her. Say "great Hon, I'd love to join you - sounds like fun!"

She is not respecting you or her marriage vows. All affairs start with 'just talking.' She is also making herself look bad by sitting in bars with other men. If she really cares about you, she'll stop putting herself into these situations. My H also had a friend who ended up in MY bed. It's not worth it!

Sorry to hear this...I can tell you what you wrote has been me for the past several months. If you want to know where she is going and where she is at leave a message here. I will tell you how you can put something in her car that works off of GPS technology and you can find out where she is driving to and how long she has been there. This confirmed a lot of things that my wife (WS) wasn't telling me. It cost some money but it is worth it's weight in gold when your wife doesn't tell the truth.