I have been reading some of the newbies stories and remembering...<p>...just so you all know that we who have been here awhile really do understand your pain...<p>need reassurance<p>Cali<p>[ May 07, 2002: Message edited by: Cali ]</p>

Thanks--reading that really helped me feel not so alone.<p>H and I are going out to eat tonight (his idea). He seems to be really trying; I just am really experiencing huge highs and lows. I guess he is, too, although I can't be very sympathetic. He told me a few days ago that he feels like he's lost his true self. I hope that I can be okay through dinner tonight. So far, I've only LB'd for the first couple of days after d-day (before I found MB) and a couple of times since. I want tonight to be a nice experience for us. Wish me luck :-) <p>Thanks again for the post...it helped.

^^bump^^

Thank you Cali! I don't consider myself a newbie but I have benefited from this post. I am searching for inspiration to keep working at this and you have provided wonderful inspiration - again [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]

Thank you for sharing... [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] I LOVE seeing that it is possible for people to grow and change! Gives me hope!

Thanks Cali...<p>the posts from "h" the ws helped me a bunch. It made me cry. It sounds a lot like my hubby sounds NOW since the fog finally lifted. <p>It is nice to see another ws reinforce the fact they can finally see it for the fantasy it was. It makes me feel like my h is telling me the truth. That you can finally see "A" for what it was. My fwh was with a girl who has been married twice already at age 32.<p>My biggest fear: That he would rather be with the OW. That he is only saying those wonderfully touching heartfelt things because he thinks that's what I want to hear and he is just trying to be nice. <p>I want him to be with me because he loves me and only me..........not because of all the things that come with me (kids, home, financial help (ow did not work full time-I do). <p>Even this far into recovery I can see how the blow to my self-esteem has me second guessing. I wonder if I alone am enough for him. Was I just not enough for him that he had to have an "A". <p>I know that is all b.s. about it being because I was not enough for him. The "A" was more about him than me....BUT your emotion takes over and makes you think everyway but logically sometimes. <p>thanks again for the post---coming to MB has been my release for the last couple weeks and I think is helping me so much on not LB and keeping this recovery on the right track.<p>thanks so much to all of you for your support and patience with my long winded posts. It helps me clear my head & heart of this yucky junk that tries to invade and take over. [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]