Hi, Heather. <p>I'm married to a cop, too, and I can relate about having a husband who is never home physically or emotionally. My H used to be that way, too, but our marriage has done a 180 degree turn (several times, unfortunately). <p>I know that alot of the time cops use their stressful job as an excuse for not being a good spouse and parent, but that just won't wash with me anymore. I've met WAY too many cops who are happily married and are wonderful parents. <p>I don't know specifics of your situation, but I can tell you that you'll save yourselves a tremendous amount of pain and trouble in the near future if you can begin communicating about everything. It may be like pulling teeth to get your H to really talk to you (it has been for me), but if you allow this to go on it will end up badly. Believe me, communication is everything. Don't let him hide behind his badge! Most cops will open up to their buddies, and, of course there are always Badge Bimbos ready to offer a shoulder (I don't mean to scare you), so try to make sure you're his #1 confidant and best friend. <p>Try very gently opening up to him using lots of "I" statements, and tell him how things make you feel. My H backs off immediately if I seem to be in "attack" mode, or if I'm too pushy, so being calm and matter-of-fact helps. <p>I've been this road, hon, and I know how you feel. It's not going to be an easy road if your H isn't willing to put forth some effort.<p>Good luck, and hang in there!<p>at peace
