YES, precisely Conan! It did work out. BrambleRose is a veteran MB poster, her and her H are in Recovery for nearly a year now, I believe. <p>Lv,
Jo

Bumpster for Conan! /\

Thanks for the response and the bump... LOL.

Conan:<p>But hey! How ya doin' man?

My heart aches for you. Three years of lies and betrayal, she doesn't deserve your devotion. I can partially relate, though my situation is different.<p>I found out that my H lied for 6 years about his PA with my former best friend. Back when it happened, it was hard enough and they claimed it was EA only. It was still bad enough that he almost lost his business (her H was my H's partner/best friend), we were separated for 9 mos, our friendship was never resolved, I lost almost 30 pounds in a little over a month, etc.<p>Well, we eventually got back together. It took me about 18 mos to feel better. We had lots of counseling, prayer, etc. I thought things were better. Well, 2 years ago he started acting 'weird' again. He ruined a cruise we went on and when we got back, he made an appt. for counseling again.<p>He started treating me very distant, hostile, etc. like he did 6 years ago. I finally convinced the counselor he had a problem with depression, and had for a while. Turns out I was right. Well, in the process of counseling, found out they had lied. It was PA, including IN MY BED which totally broke my heart. This was my best friend!<p>So, now I've had to start the healing/forgiving, all over again. It's AWFUL to be lied to for years. Makes you feel like everything that happened during that time period is a big farce.
I was on medicine which really helped me to cope with this, but found out I was pregnant so I had to stop taking it. That's been very hard. <p>I feel so badly about your new home. I used to absolutely love my house. It's always been my favorite hobby, decorating, etc. She knew that as she used to help me paint, etc. Well apparently she forgot that when she climbed the stairs to my bedroom.<p>I had to switch bedrooms around, buy new furniture, etc. and I still resent being here. Some days I feel like moving, but then I tell myself that would allow her to 'win.' She's not worth the effort it would take to move.<p>I hate the 6 years of lies, from the 2 people I loved the most. Please get yourself into counseling, soon. Did you ever go with your wife? It's almost impossible to recover from an A without it. It saved our marriage, that and prayer and time which is hard to wait for.<p>God bless you

Maggie,<p>Your situation sounds very painful and I am sorry for what you have gone through. I admit, there are some real similarities between us. My WW and OM claim only an EA, although I heard a phone call involving detailed phone sex and she at first admitted to PA, although later retracted it. She claims the only time they had phone sex was the one time. I wish I could believe her, but my gut tells me it is all a pack of lies and it makes me resent her more.<p>I hear what you say about the house. I feel the same way. I don't want to let them "win" by selling the new house, but I also feel it would be just punishment for my WW to not have this gorgeous new home after what she has done.<p>We had a big talk this weekend, but I don't know what it got me. I was able to express my pain and confusion and, as usual, she said many of the right things. However, she has always said the right things in the past and it was just all a cover.<p>I will try to set up an appointment with SH next week.