Jo,<p>Thank you for the words of encouragement!!<p>For whatever reason (The Lord knows) I did receive this e mail today. I do see it as a sign. Am praying that the Lord shows me what it is I am too do next!!<p>I caught him saying I love you and the end of a phone conversation too, not so long ago.<p>His fog is so thick, his vision is so narrow, his words are "that is more story and I am sticking too it." I think he is stuck allright!! Will be interesting to see how things are to develope. At times I do see my self believing his line of bull, but then I remember oh yeah this is a sick man!! My way of coping!!<p>In actuallity it has been over 2 years since the beginning of the EA, 1/99. Dday was 1/17/01.<p>Thanks for the words of encouragement!!<p>Dawn [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]

Hugs! You stay STRONG Dawn! I am still shaking my head... think he calls her by your name too? <p>Orchid... love that title... think we have a new chapter for our book "Affairs for Dummies." <p>Hope4future... ROTFLMAO!!!! love that translation!<p>Ya gotta wonder if this will poke some holes into fantasyland.<p>Cali

Cali,<p>I'm poking!!!<p>Many times I have wanted to rock their world, shake it up a little you know. But never had the opportunity. You and many have discouraged me from doing that type of thing. And I didn't thank you at the time, I wanted help with rattling their world.<p>I am anxious to see what the fall out of this and my outburst toady will be!!<p>I do meet with my lawyer tomorrow afternoon, I am sure WH is thinking "how will she try and use this to drag this out more." I am not the one that wants this D so will do nothing to further it along on my own.<p>What an interesting day. It does make the dumbiest WS list perhaps the top 10.<p>WH may even be here lurking am not sure, hasn't done it before but knows I come here for support!!<p>Dawn [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]

... but this is different from you just 'poking' to poke...<p>This is really just 'natural' fallout from their own ummmmm 'stupidity' comes to mind...<p>Even when I was "Hurricane Cali" my H said he couldn't blame me... it was just the natural consequences of his and OWs actions.... (though I am still thankful that WhoDat kept me from going further out of control).<p> [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Cali

Hey Dawn ... remember "It's 6 mos to 2+ years from the light of day when an affair usually ends".<p>"Light of Day" = When WS is openly showing everyone (family and friends included) that the two (WS & OP) are a couple. No denying it to anyone. No lies of omission or commission otherwise. That's LIGHT OF DAY and when the clock starts ticking.<p>Remain strong in your resolve, Dawn. We're here for you.<p>Jo<p>[ May 09, 2002: Message edited by: Resilient ]</p>

Daybreak<p>Hope4furture suggested a dumby letter, so thinking along that line I bet this group could come up with a few ideas to shake their world.<p>Mine would be: next time YOU write to him, make sure it is REALLY SWEET with a couple of nice RECENT memories thrown in. [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img] <p>So there aren't any recent nice memories? Make them up.!!! [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] He won't send HER the letter.

Maybe you should take a copy of that e-mail to the lawyer. He might be willing to up the alimony anty?!??! from 47% to 74% I mean what's the difference? He can't tell which end it up!!??!!? [img]images/icons/rolleyes.gif" border="0[/img] <p>L.

gottruth, Jo,<p>I've been thinking about the dumby letter thing all night. And yes I am sure that MBer's would be great composing a good letter for me!!!! [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] <p>I do feel so very strong Jo, and I am so glad that I have continued here on MB, many times I have felt like letting go, but MBer's are the only ones that truly understand the pain that fell at times, I really do need you people as my support!! I do have many supporters here, but they just don't get it the way MBers do, I thank you alll, I love you!!<p>I do need to get to bed soon, I have been setting here at the computer since 4 my time,
Thanks to all for the support and laughs today. cali I did think of the hurricane a few times and oh so wanted to be like her back then!! <p>I have learned very well from many here on how to take the emotions out of the correspondence that I have to share with WH but to still get the point across that needs to be made.<p>C ya, Dawn [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]

Orchid,
Already printed and in the folder, am still trying to decide if I want to send one to his boss as he was using his military account and that is a no,no!!<p>Dawn [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]

I hope you are feeling better about all this today.<p>It sounds like STBX is just looking for support from OW because that's probably the only person that he has to give him support right now. It's like they have a common goal or a common enemy(you) that they canconcentrated on instead of the reality of their relationship.<p>At least that is what is happenening to me. With all of the divorce proceedings going on, my ExH and his OW don't have time to live out the reality of life. They are too busy helping each other through this rough time in their lives - poor pitiful them.<p>I almost wish things would speed up so that ExH and OW could see what life will really be like, have the infatuation die and then realize that they are stuck with 2 jobs, child support, 6 kids between them and nothing in common. When it's two against the world and they are constantly comforting each other then they feed off of the negative emotion. That's why I think Plan A is supposed to work so well because when we as the BS let go then reality has a chance to set in and that's the only thing that will cure an A.<p>Also, it's hard to know where God is leading us sometimes. I wish that He'd send down a set of directions for me to follow - I'm good at following directions. However, since I'm not going to get that I just have to remember to pray and to listen during that prayer time to what God is saying and then when I feel something in my gut or a voice in my head to do something then I hope it's put there by God. I also take comfort in the fact that I know God loves my ExH and doesn't want him to continue down the wrong path. However, God does things in His own time and in His own way. I just have to take comfort in the fact that God's plan for me is a full of love and goodness and remind myself that God is on my side and if I'm faithful He will not abandon me.<p>I hope that you can take comfort in that too. And remember that even when you don't think God is there working - He is. And don't second guess your responses or reasons for things happening too much - you never know how all of this fits into the plan. <p>Just do the best you can everyday and that's all God expects you to do.<p>Have a great day! K

GIIC,<p>Thank you, I have so let go of this, it is my Lords hands and I am just his tool.<p>Yes did feel good to see a little rattle to his world, I would love to see how she reacts to all thi, but this is not important really.<p>I usually do not get to MB til after work, but sat down to put my shoes on and thought oh I'll just check, and am so glad that I have.<p>You are so very right about her being the only one to give him any support, his family hasn't and none of his friends. So am sure that he is feeling pretty alone in all this, but do find it curious that that e mail got sent to me. Why was that?<p>Things to pnder in my busy day!!! Thanks for the response!! Have a great day!!
Dawn [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]

Dawn,<p>So sorry to just be responding to what must have been hurtful. Remember when you said there must be a reason. A thought came to me really strong and I feel I must share something with you.<p>When I decided to get a d. I kept praying daily to know that I was doing the right thing, everytime that I would think I should stay, something would happen and he would say something or do something to hurt me. I kept praying, "please God, just let me know for sure". After realizing that everytime we were together for more than an hour something Chaotic would happen, I started thanking God. For in little things my prayers were answered.<p>What have you been praying for? This is an answer to your prayers, you just have to listen. Sometimes it takes a heck of a lot of listening to understand, but we all get it eventually. (Not that you're not listening). <p>I just had to post that because I felt like maybe you should know. Good luck today and for strength here's a prayer "Pray for him, bless me". <p>No matter what happens you are going to be strong. I keep asking why all of this is happening and there is one reason I have acknowledged. Had I not had an e. breakdown, I wouldn't have had an a. and I would have never really accepted that my stbx and I were destroying our lives as well as our son's. I now have the strength to not "judge" others who may be in my situation and I have learned that even when everyone else won't forgive you, God does. Best Wishes and love

Trustintruth, and oldie, used to say God answers prayers with a cherry on top. This is definitely one of them. <p>So many times we think the WS is so careful, they'll never make a mistake...then Holy Socks they make SUCH a mistake.<p>This one is a beauty with a cherry on top.<p>No denials on this one.<p>What's that I hear? A house of cards crumbling? [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] <p>I'm working Saturday if you get on the westside...

daybreak <p>It seems that God works in mysterious ways. As hurtful as it was, there is a reason you needed that email. You’ve told us at least some of them. And your WH and OW needed you to get it. I think it will help their house of cards crumble.<p>When I left my ex-h (or was it that he kicked me out.. a bit of both as I recall), I packed all of what I considered to be my possessions and stored them in the garage until I could get a mover lined up. Apparently he went through my boxes and took thing.. Stupid things like the Santa head door ornament my mom made (?????). He also went through my financial papers and took stuff. I think that when he repacked the box, he accidentally put some of his own papers in my box. In particular he put a stack of cancelled checks in there. They were the ones he’d be hiding from me. It was the paper trail of many thousands of dollars that he’d moved to secret accounts in his and his mother’s names. You see I needed that, I knew he was ‘stealing’ from our community assets but I had no real proof. I prayed that proof fall into my lap… boy did it. I was able to use that pile of checks to prove this in our divorce. I remember the look of horror on his face, when he was telling the judge that I was making up stories about him having any assets at all… I simply presented the stack of cancelled checks and a detailed ledger of them to the judge. I ended up with our house, free and clear. An exchange for what he’d taken.

RAINE, LOR, zorweb,<p>Thank you all so much for your responses, I do so appreciate the support!!! MBers are great!!!<p>I had been listening so long for the Lord to speak with me!! <p>I just came from the Lawyers, he had to pick his jaw up off the floor. He did make copies of all the things that I had. And that e mail!!<p>I have found such a peace about myself since yesterday, through all of this I would've cried, (I do when I get angry) and I haven't, just a peace, am not sure what it is more that I am to do with this e mail, will wait a while longer to see how it is I am to use this.<p>I do want to get in writing with a signature all that WH and I have agreed to. Lawyer did advise this!!<p>Again Thanks to all!!<p>Have thought about calling OW and sharing some of h4f between the lines!! What do you think, should I? If I do anything else to add?<p>C ya Dawn
[img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]