I think I'm getting this Plan A thing. Something happened last night that made me understand. Our D is staying at grandparents' house for a wk. so that we could spend some time together. Up until last nite, we had been doing that. Last nite, he went by a friend's house after work and stayed there visiting/working on a truck until 9:00.<p>Here's what I wanted to do when he got home: tell him he was an a**hole and throw a big fit. Ask him why he even had me take D to grandparents if he was going to ignore me.<p>Here's what I did: Smiled, said hi, commented on how nice it was outside (I was sitting on the front porch when he got home) and that I was enjoying it. Made him a sandwich when he asked. Took a shower with him when he asked. Smiled and acted friendly.<p>Here's what he did: Apologized profusely for being an a**hole (to which I replied "I don't think you're an a**hole; I love you). Then he opened up and talked about how he was feeling (which is a groundbreaking occasion for him). He said he loves me and doesn't think he deserves me (maybe). Anyway, I'm committed to plan A now.<p>Never realized what I could accomplish without nagging...

[img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img]

Dani,
question??? do you ever sleep??? take care of yourself!!! thanks for the post on sf, i know what you mean, i am the same way, my wh is still seeing the ow, trying to "resolve his issues" i have to just keep going. <p>sunnyday19672002@yahoo.com

What's sleep??? hehehe :-)
For that matter, what's food???<p>Basically all I do lately is plan A and smoke. Not good, I know, but makes me feel better.

I know, i am in clothes i thought i would never never wear again. it's a good thing too, because i am not buying any ---socking some rainy day money away [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] take care

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by dani1990:
<strong>
Basically all I do lately is plan A and smoke. Not good, I know, but makes me feel better.</strong><hr></blockquote><p>Interesting - did the same while trying to cope wth D-Day & stuff. Then I realised that smoking is actually a LB, pretty disgusting and at the end of the day doesn't help to resolve Marriage problems.
So, I stopped smoking 2 weeks ago, after 15 years of 20 cigs a day! I consider it as part of plan A, and, incidentially feel great with it.<p>[ May 09, 2002: Message edited by: Nick123 ]</p>

Congrats! I hope at some point I get strong enough to do that...<p>My H can't say much about my smoking because he dips Copenhagen. Just as yucky, I think.

no, dip is WORSE...except when you smoke, those around you have to breathe it...<p>Today, in major league baseball, they have former players who travel around talking about how dipping affected them...many of them are horribly disfigured from the bone and tissue loss caused by cancer they contracted from dipping. I hope he can stop someday.