Learning Lessons - Thanks to all who replied

Did I scare YOU away? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Been thinking about you...

[ March 04, 2004, 07:17 PM: Message edited by: new_beginning ]

No! Never! hehe .. I wish someone COULD .. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />
I am racking up the points with 1937 posts myself!
I'll be in the big leagues here soon. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

I usually go away for the weekends and lately I have noticed I have posted less and less. Hmmm? Maybe I am backing away from MB some?

Anyway, we were on a roll last week ......so how was your weekend and how are you doing?

One of the last things I remember is that singleguy posted something to you that REALLY ministered to me as well. (thanks single btw) <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> The gist of it was that when we ask God to forgive us - He DOES - end of story - and to constantly bring it back up means that some place deep inside of us we are not trusting that God did, or worst yet, that God even WILL. Maybe we secetly think that His grace just didn't extend "quiiiiiiiite" that far and we are asking too much.

That was paraphrased from what he said but that really ministered to me too.

I have trouble with forgiving myself as well Sheryl especially when I think that
MY actions have hurt my kids in any way ......

THAT is where I crater every time.

Can you relate?

Diamonzzz

*

[ March 04, 2004, 07:13 PM: Message edited by: new_beginning ]

...

[ March 04, 2004, 05:07 PM: Message edited by: Diamonzzz ]

ohmygosh -- You have written my EXACT thoughts. Yes, you know what's in my head, because it *seems* at least to me, that you've LIVED it, and are continuing to live it. You really do understand. I thought I was the only one who did this... I was all alone. I know now that I'm not.

I don't know what to say.

I'm logging off for the night - have been on here too much today -- pittering around, posting a bit, sent out a few online resumes... but I'm tired too...

[ March 04, 2004, 07:11 PM: Message edited by: new_beginning ]

Dzzz and Sheryl,

Just so you know, most people already know your story long before you felt the need to tell it anyway. And you are right Dzzz, you do not need the approval of man. That's why I said you don't need to retell it. Some so called Christians just love to grovel in the dirt, but we're not that way here! Yes, mankind will always try to judge you for your actions. But man wants to judge everything to make himself look better, more holy, and all kinds of other reasons. You have got to be bigger than the judgement of man that comes against you. "God" forgave you!!!!!!!!!!!!! Maybe you will have to declare that everytime satan brings it up, but you ARE forgiven. You need to get that deep into your hearts and minds. YOU MUST BEGIN TO BELIEVE WHAT THE BIBLE SAYS!!!!!!! And if you will ask your children to forgive you, they will in a heartbeat. You know that. Yes, you may have to work thru some things, but you should also be able to teach them with a much deeper conviction!

You must also learn the value of repentence. A real Christian can sense a repentive heart and they know the precious value of forgiveness. They have no God given right to hold it over your head, nor do they want to. And as for others, when we repent, God said He would make even our enemies to be at peace with us! This is what I meant about the consequences having a season. Even Bathsheba eventually was restored to be the mother and wife she was meant to be. You bet God hates divorce. HE said what God has put together, let NO man put asunder! There has to be some consequences for sin, you know that! But your consequences will fade to the past when YOU begin to believe God's word deep, deep, deep down inside, and ignore man!!! Memories sometimes, yes, consequences, NO! HE can make all things work together for good, if you will let HIM! "THE TRUTH WILL SET YOU FREE" That doesn't mean just KNOWING the truth, it means RECEIVING it. It's time girls!

My wife did the same thing you two did. No need to go into all the details, you already know them. But for me to hold that over her head for the rest of her life is sin on my behalf. I need to worry about the log in my own eye! No, she won't get a second chance persay, but she does get a new beginning. So do I! So do you!

You are forgiven girls! God ALREADY has forgiven you if your repentence was genuine. I FORGIVE YOU, if that helps. Now forgive yourselves! Be the women of God that He wants you to be. Find that Godly humility, that ministry that brings peace and joy. It's already there, just waiting for you to take it!!!

God Bless Our Girls!
sg

*I need to practice not bothering to say everything I feel* DZ

[ March 04, 2004, 05:08 PM: Message edited by: Diamonzzz ]

I'm deleting to respect Diamonzzz's privacy -- and heck, maybe even mine.

[ March 04, 2004, 07:15 PM: Message edited by: new_beginning ]

- when will I ever learn? - sigh

[ March 04, 2004, 05:09 PM: Message edited by: Diamonzzz ]

(((((((((((((Diamonzzz)))))))))))))))

I'm learning at just about the same speed. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

[ March 04, 2004, 07:16 PM: Message edited by: new_beginning ]

((((Sheryl)))))))

I am sorry about the job.

I am not feeling to chipper today myself.

We'll talk later. Try to have a good day despite.

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

DZZZ

waz just a bunch of feelings..nuffin important..Dz

[ March 04, 2004, 05:10 PM: Message edited by: Diamonzzz ]

I got off, we called a headhunter and got an interview for next week... and came back to read what you'd written.

I understand. I understand. I understand.

God bless us both...

[ March 04, 2004, 07:18 PM: Message edited by: new_beginning ]

Hey Dzzz,

I'm sorry for the intruding here please forgive me.

<blockquote>quote:<hr />I agree with God's word about divorce and I KNOW He hates divorce but I am having real trouble knowing what to repent of?

For real? My "sorry" must seem hollow to God.<hr /></blockquote>God has never cared more for our words than He does our hearts?

Romans 8:26-27In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will.

I truly believe these groans are the things the heart pours out to Him and we cannot put into words.

I think Sheryl says it better than anyone ever could.

<blockquote>quote:<hr />I know, like you, that I did the best I could with what was in me at the time.

I try to cling to that. You too, okay?<hr /></blockquote>Again please forgive my intrusion. I hope I have helped in a small way. {{{{{Dzzz}}}}} You too {{{{{Sheryl}}}}}.

You both are so special to God and to us here.

S&C

[ March 04, 2004, 12:09 PM: Message edited by: steadfast and committed ]

.....

[ March 04, 2004, 05:11 PM: Message edited by: Diamonzzz ]

<blockquote>quote:<hr />Maybe this thread should die. I don't know. I too want to share, to tell it all... a catharsis. I've told it before, many times. I don't want to tell it all again. There's just so much to tell. I'm tired.<hr /></blockquote>I should have listened to myself when I wrote the above paragraph originally.

[ March 04, 2004, 07:21 PM: Message edited by: new_beginning ]

.....

[ March 04, 2004, 05:13 PM: Message edited by: Diamonzzz ]

I appreciate your "confessing", but God wants and expects us all to move on. I could tell you things about what people have done to me and what I have done to others. I could be burdened with it forever if I wanted, but I refuse. I could say how they played a role in the situation, but I refuse. I am accountable for what I did, and excuses just dilute the repentence. There is a season for everything, and your past must be a season, not a lifestyle. You must let go, process or not. You only need to repent "once" if it is genuine. Not over and over. If you do, you are missing out what God has said to you in his word! I ask that you would reread what I posted earlier, but before you do, ask the Holy Spirit to speak to you what He wants you to hear, not what the words say!

I have been basically divorced 8 years. It wasn't until the last 3 that all the junk got processed and restoration, and peace began to take place on a meaningfull level. Yours will come too. Give it a chance. But start letting the guilt go. Like S&C said, God will look at your heart, long before your words. He will also speak back to your heart, LISTEN!!!

I apologize Dzzz, you are right in correcting me about you not having an affair. You had told me, and I forgot. WILL YOU FORGIVE ME?

Today think about who is speaking to your heart! Is it God, the forgiver and restorer. Or is it satan, who is always accusing and condemning! Why are you giving him priority. Think about it girls. OK, you have made your confession. God has forgiven you. Get a strong spiritual same sex friend that will help you thru the healing. Preferably an older gal who is a pillar in your churches. God will give you a new beginning!!!

Your Buddy
sg

Now I'm deleting for me... this was just embarrassing.

[ March 04, 2004, 07:24 PM: Message edited by: new_beginning ]

And one last thing, If You have "declared" Jesus as the Lord of your life, have asked Him to forgive your sins, and to live and to be your Savior forever. YOU HAVE PEACE, PARDON, A HOPE, A FUTURE, ASSURANCE, AND A GUARENTEE THAT YOU ARE GOING TO HEAVEN!!!! The bible says that "you can know" !!!! If yoiu sin, repent! It is what keeps you and God in perfect harmony!

If you are looking for a "sin" to confess, it's not walking in obedience with the Lords word. Not just in marriage, but for doing what you wanted instead of what He wanted! Something every person alive is guilty of!!!

sg

.....

[ March 04, 2004, 05:14 PM: Message edited by: Diamonzzz ]

*

[ March 04, 2004, 07:21 PM: Message edited by: new_beginning ]

Dzzz and Sheryl,

First I want you to know that I love you two dearly. I would never hurt or condemn you deliberately. I'm trying to help you claim your victory!!! You are not failing miserably, you are a child of God! God has never let anyone who has sought Him fail miserabely! What I'm trying to say is that we have to learn to say "No, satan, I have confessed that sin to God. I have repented and made restitution, or asked for forgiveness, reconciled, whatever, and you have no right to throw me into guilt, shame, etc. again. I command you to go away in the name of Jesus!". And I understand "confessing one to another" is a command of God. But again "another" doesn't need to be everybody! That's all! I just want to see you and Sheryl walk in victory. The victory that was bought with a price!!! Jesus DIED for us. But does He ask us to keep asking for His forgiveness? NO!!! But we have asked HIS forgiveness, and instead of guilt and shame, we have His blessing!!! Your brother [me]loves you both with ALL his heart! You need to believe that too!

Oh Lord God, My heart aches with tears over my two precious sisters. Father, I don't have a clue what to ask You for, but if You can hear my tears, if You will see the despair that fills my heart. Father, please deliver them from the bondage that torments them. Father, You know every need, emotional, spiritual, financial, and physical. Please make a way where there is no way for them Father. I ask that you would bring restoration, reconciliation, and peace back to their lives. God, please here the seriousness of this plea. You know just what to do Father! I have put all my trust and faith in You. Father, come quickly and end this internal punishment that they go thru each day. I sing every praise to You that I can think of Father. I come on bended knee, asking that Your attention to their situaton be swift. What do You ask of us Father, that You would show Your favor to us? Father God, be with the girls today. Shower Your love down upon them. Set them free once and for all. In Jesus name. Amen

God Heal My Beloved Sisters!
sg

Single? When you were a little boy .. do you remember that feeling of a teacher towering over you "teaching" you algebra? You REALLY wanted to hear her/him... really you did....

Then remember that really special teacher? The one that got down on one knee beside your desk and put his/her arm around you and smiled and took your pencil and gently and patiently did the questions with you?

Which teacher got the most results?

Question? Have you honestly read each and every post I have written on this subject today? Including the Poem? If so? Why are you feeling the need to preach at me? I GET IT!! LOL

In one post I asked for examples from other's lives on HOW ..not WHAT? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

(thanks for the prayer btw.. I DID appreciate that)

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

DZZZ

[ March 04, 2004, 04:02 PM: Message edited by: Diamonzzz ]

Dzzz,

I may be old, but I'm slow.

May I venture to say that it isn't forgiveness you are looking for. I know you know you are forgiven.

<blockquote>quote:<hr />NOW do you love me????<hr /></blockquote>With every fiber of my being, I want you to know that I accept you. Knowing all the things I know about you. The things you struggle with; memories that cause you pain, your deeds that have left scars. We all have them, the things we think make us unloveable.

We are human. To accept each other in our humanity is what God asks us to do. You be as human as you need to be. God's grace abounds here.

Abundant blessings to you.

S&C

[ March 04, 2004, 04:55 PM: Message edited by: steadfast and committed ]

S & C your post made me cry. (a good cry)

Thank you.

[ March 04, 2004, 05:14 PM: Message edited by: Diamonzzz ]

Thank you for the prayer, singleguy. I also appreciate it.

[ March 04, 2004, 07:22 PM: Message edited by: new_beginning ]

Sheryl,

I would be hurt if you were to leave. Same with Dzzz. But I do understand the pulsation of emotions. I hope you understand that as a guy, I am a "fixer". Also as a guy, maybe sometimes I don't hear what you are really "saying". Hopefully you can help me with that. I AM trying to understand, and protect both of you at the same time! I haven't been where you have been, but I've been down in the gutter. So rather than "preaching" tonite, I just want to be here for the two of you. Just know that my prayers are with you, and I care!

sg

Sheryl and Dzzz,

{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}} to both of you! You are very much loved and appreciated for the contributions you have given to this group of warriors! The board would never be the same without either of you! I have been lurking around this thread, not really trying to intercede since this was a conversation between you two; however, I believe I need to tell you how appreciated you both are. We accept you for the people you are and any kinds of choices you have made in your life. We are all learning from each other and hopefully, you will continue to bless us with your presence.

I think you both are very strong women - Diamonzzz, I admire your endurance and I believe you have such wisdom that contributes a great deal to this board. NB, I admire your excitement to learn more, to grow spiritually and if you need to take baby steps to get to where you need to be, then by all means, do it! We are here to help you accomplish that!

I know you both have helped me a great deal and I wanted to thank you for everything you have contributed. I pray God's blessings over both of you today and forever! We love you!

Diamonzzz,

I know how you're feeling. I originated this thread to let you know you were being thought of, and cared for... those things remain the same. I hope we can continue to "connect"...

singleguy,

I've had a very bad day. I've peppered the thread with the reasons. I am not good at hiding my feelings, never have been.

I need you to know that I didn't mean to manipulate you (or anyone else) into begging me to stay. I've written far too many "goodbye" message in my time here. Now THAT'S embarrassing! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Embarrassed]" src="images/icons/blush.gif" />

You are a nice man, singleguy, and funny too. You've made me laugh 'till I cried (and my H too, did you read the pontification thread? I wrote about it!). I have no bad feelings toward you -- but I did get hurt. That's my problem, not yours, okay?

StandingTogether,

What a sweet, touching post! Thank you! I will say to you what I said to singleguy... I am sorry if it seemed that I was fishing for 'Don't go's'... I wasn't. Oh, maybe subconsciencely (sp?) I was. I apprecaite your words so much.

steadfast and Everyone,

I wanted to make VERY clear that it was never my intention to make anyone feel unwelcome in this, or any other thread. EVERYONE IS ALWAYS WELCOME.

Just wanted you to know that.

Take care, and I'm thinking about what everyone's said tonight.

Edit: I've deleted most of the posts, first to remove the quotes from Diamonzzz in respect of her wishes (since she had deleted her posts), and then realized that maybe it's time that I took better care of myself - emotionally, especially. To that end, I deleted as well.

Again, I thank everyone who contributed to this thread. It HAS made me think, and will continue to do so... I suspect for a long time to come.

God Bless us All!

[ March 04, 2004, 07:29 PM: Message edited by: new_beginning ]