One Night Stands - 05/24/07 04:10 PM
Hello...I am new here. Well actually not new to the site, have been a reader of the posts for quite a while but very rarely have posted. But I am going to change that now...
I have a question about one night stands...my husband and I have been married for 16 years and he has had 3 one night stands that I know of but of course I have my suspisions that there has been more!! And of course he claims that these ONS have never lead to the actual act of sex. Which I also have my doubts about...Oh by the way, all three times there was alcohol involved which I feel is NO excuse!! But defintely a factor...maybe he has an issue with alcohol as well as infedelity!!
I guess my question is how differently do Dr. Harley's concepts apply when the wayward acts have always been a one time thing each?? Should I feel better about our situation or worse?? Especially when I feel that the hurt is just the same. With the one night stands, I have felt like I had no signs or warnings. And how could he chance losing his family for somebody that there where no feelings about??
Dr. Harley talks about the reasons that most people have affairs is because they are getting their emotional needs met somewhere else...well how can that be possible when the woman he messed around with he just met or barely knew??
Has anybody else experienced infedelity in the acts of ONS?? And does the cycle ever end?? And as far as my suspesions should I follow up and try to verify if anything did happen since these times where about 5 years agao?? Or since I already know about the 3 ONS should I just concentrate on the ones that I know about since the underlining problem is just the same??
Fullofdoubt
I have a question about one night stands...my husband and I have been married for 16 years and he has had 3 one night stands that I know of but of course I have my suspisions that there has been more!! And of course he claims that these ONS have never lead to the actual act of sex. Which I also have my doubts about...Oh by the way, all three times there was alcohol involved which I feel is NO excuse!! But defintely a factor...maybe he has an issue with alcohol as well as infedelity!!
I guess my question is how differently do Dr. Harley's concepts apply when the wayward acts have always been a one time thing each?? Should I feel better about our situation or worse?? Especially when I feel that the hurt is just the same. With the one night stands, I have felt like I had no signs or warnings. And how could he chance losing his family for somebody that there where no feelings about??
Dr. Harley talks about the reasons that most people have affairs is because they are getting their emotional needs met somewhere else...well how can that be possible when the woman he messed around with he just met or barely knew??
Has anybody else experienced infedelity in the acts of ONS?? And does the cycle ever end?? And as far as my suspesions should I follow up and try to verify if anything did happen since these times where about 5 years agao?? Or since I already know about the 3 ONS should I just concentrate on the ones that I know about since the underlining problem is just the same??
Fullofdoubt