Just wondering,
Do you buy her forgivness?? What do you think about the hypocracy?? I know alot here had alot to say about Clinton, I don't see much about talk about this one, what's up with that?

huh?

The Senators wife who said publically that if her husband did what Clinton did, she would not forgive, she would go Lorena Bobbitt on him.

Well surpise surprise! her husband was at that same time going to brothels in New Orleans, and now is a client of the DC Madam.

She was on TV today publically forgiving him.

He got his Senate seat preaching anti-gay, christian, abstancance and even got his seat by calling for another Senator to step down for a similar scandal

I don't understand this type of hypocracy

What in the world does this have to do with anything here? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />

It just goes to show that you never know what you will do until Infidelity happens in your marriage. Like many here, I always said I would boot my husband out. Actually, I did on D-day, but then tried to save the marriage.

Also the man has 4 kids. His wife has a family to try to keep together. So that may be a big part of it.

Help me understand why you are here gloating about this woman's misfortune? Do you know how painful and traumatic adultery is?

Believer, maybe that is true, but how can you ask for compassioin and forgiveness when you cannot give it?

How can you criticize her for the same, cruel thing YOU are doing?

Mel,
I am not here to cause trouble, I have nothing but respect for the people here. Yes, I have had many problems in my marriage tho I have not posted them. I have used the examples of these wonderful people here and the Marriage Builders principals to heal my marriage and also I have rcommended this site to many friends. I can proudly say, that I have a happily recovered 22 year marriage

Hopefully you can show this woman a little compassion. No one deserves to be a victim of adultery.

If I'm reading this right, you are wondering why she would say that she would do a Lorena Bobbit on him if he cheated. I saw where she also said something just staying around long enough for the alimony to kick in.

But that is what most women would say BEFORE adultery.
She is perfectly normal.

I'm sure he has apologized profusely, and she is just like the rest of us, wants to try to save the marriage.

I guess I was appalled by people like her and her husband back during the Clinton Scandal. I think I am more mad at her husband obviously. I don't wish this woman harm, but a part of me thinks they shouldn't have been throwing so many stones when they were living in a big glass house!

I am appalled that you would complain about her "lack of compassion" after you have gloated about her tragedy. What about your own lack of compassion?

Jeeze Mel, I have been reading on this sight for years, and I guess I feel like I know the people here well, even though you don't know me. I never expected that YOU would jump on the attack so strongly. I just noticed that when this type of story is in the news some one almost always comments, I noticed that this one didn't get the attention that the others have. I wondered if this sight was slightly partisan.

How, exactly, would she have known that she was living in a glass house?

I also guesss I have my answer

Don't know if I understand why you are taking this so hard Mel. News items like this that are good examples of infidelity are often brought up and discussed.

I didn't see the comment as gloating.

It's a common theme though. We say we'd never allow something like this to happen to ourselves... it happens... we react totally different than we thought we would.

This isn't a political website, but a marriage website. I doubt anyone gloated about it because that would be cruel and uncompassionate on a forum that focuses on adultery. I have no idea who she is, but if she is a victim of adultery, she does not deserve to be slimed.

Where is your "compassion" for her?

You are right sundog. Most people say they would kick a WS to the curb. Most don't.

It is very offensive to see anyone getting kicked while they are down for partisan political reasons. I might not have the same politics as Hillary Clinton but I would never kick her while she was down or gloat over her mistfortune.

Gosh Mel I have always admired you and your posting every time I have read your great advice to others I guess you don't want to be my friend, I think I just got kicked out of the cool clique. Oh well, I will continue to admire you from afar.
I didn't feel I was gloating, I am sorry you see it that way, I never feel that the victim of adultery deserves it, but this one is real close for me. I do feel sorry for the wife, but the husband I think he deserves to loose everything

I'm less interested in whether or not she chooses to forgive him -- she is married to him, has a family with him, and has every right to fight for her marriage.

I'm interested to see what HE is going to do other than apologize for his sins. Do you suppose he'll step down?

Mys

On the news tonight he denied having any contact with prostitutes. A couple of weeks ago he said he was sorry for past sins. Now there seems to be a new spin on it.

"Experience, that most brutal of teachers" -- CS Lewis.


We are all living in glass houses. My mother used to say, when you point your finger at someone else, three more are pointing back at you. This is exactly why the likes of Wendy Vitter and the ultraconservatives who whipped Clinton's bawdy activities into an impeachment, are now held up to ridicule for their remarks.

I don't think he will step down. That would be something that he expects others to do, but not him. He will expect his apology to be accepted. And maybe it will be. but I think he and his wife should publically apologize to the Clintons

Clinton stepped down?

For your viewing pleasure, if the moderators will allow it, a newspaper article from the Los Angeles Times explaining how Arnold Schwarzenegger (gov. CA) "got away" with his indiscretions, while Antonio Villaraigosa seems to be getting totally skewered for his:

How Antonio can 'get away with it'
Villaraigosa could take some pages from Schwarzenegger's book in handling indiscretion.

www.latimes.com/news/opinion/commentary/la-op-mathews15jul15,1,3768097.story?ctrack=1&cset=true

The article will probably not remain fully "live" and accessible past 7/18/2007 since the Times restricts access www.latimes.com/news/opinion/commentary/la-op-mathews15jul15,1,3768097.story?ctrack=1&cset=true]web page[/url]

Well, according to this article:

Forbes article (warning: annoying advertising)

He's not stepping down. He's denying the prostitute allegations while admitting to "serious sin" that he's keeping between himself, his wife, and his God.

The previous politician who held his seat resigned due to discoveries of infidelities.

What are the chances the 'serious sins' and the 'forgiveness' doesn't have to do with infidelity (with prostitutes or whoever)? And, should that have bearing whether he keeps his job - especially considering it seems as though he ran a campaign decrying infidelity?

What do you guys think? Should public officials who are exposed to their constituents (talk about some effective exposure!) expect to loose their jobs (regardless of party)?

Mys

Um NO! but David Vitter was one of the more vocal republicans calling for Clinton to step down. He also called for Speaker of the House Livingston to step down over a similar scandal. And he then got elected to Livingstons vacated seat. All while he was visiting prostitues! That's what gets me steamed
THE HYPOCRACY!!!

Bullcrap. First off, this woman is a betrayed spouse. Being betrayed is not a political issue, but a marital issue. Clinton was no victim, this woman IS. No one deserves to be betrayed, not even "ultraconservatives," whatever that is. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

The cruelty shown by the clinton defenders on this thread is appalling. No one deserves to be betrayed by adultery, folks. Give it a rest.

No? Really?

I wouldn't mind a bit provided it was applied across the board without regard for position or party.

I think holding our public officials to a higher standard is a good idea.

Mys

They should ALL step down for this, IMO. clinton should have stepped down too. Anyone who cheats is not fit to serve.

OK Mel
YOU give it a rest YOU were the first one firing the big guns here
HOW can you say Hilary was no victim. But this "lady" is
WHAT EVER!!!!!
I think both were victims I do not condone what Bill Clinton Did, nor do I oppose any BS, even Hilary Clinton for wanting to save their marriage.

It is DAVID VITTERS who should be strung up Him and his wife owe apologies to Clinton and Livingston.

I said BILL clinton was no victim, I didn't mention Hillary.

I'm with Mel - I think they should all step down. But reading about the mayor in LA, the political experts say that a wife leaving a politician over an affair is the kiss of death for his career. It's interesting.

But I feel for all the betrayed, ultra conservative, liberal, black, white, whatever.

And I'm relieved that I am not in their shoes. Adultery is bad enough without the whole world watching (and commenting).

Make infidelity the kiss of death to a politician's career, regardless. Maybe that would send a message about how serious the problem is. We "let" our leaders sweep it under the rug, then wonder why it's so endemic in society.

Mys

I'm with you all the way Mys.

Well Mel,

I don't understand why you would want to defend this type of hypocrisy

People who stand on a platform of moral superiority and talk down others family values, should at least be responsible enough to live what they preach.

Agree. I don't give a damn about a politicians "career," I only want to know if he is fit to serve. Cheaters should not be given positions of public trust. They are not fit to serve.

Like you are doing to this betrayed spouse?

NO like DAVID VITTERS is

But I have not defended David Vitters. Only his wife, the one you started this thread to attack.

BL, I am getting the sense here that you don't believe that standards apply to you and yours, just OTHERS. For example, you condemn this ritter woman for having "no compassion" while you show her none. You criticize her H for not stepping down but hold clinton to a different standard. Do your standards not apply to you?

hy·poc·ri·sy
–noun, plural -sies. 1. a pretense of having a virtuous character, moral or religious beliefs or principles, etc., that one does not really possess.


What was that you were saying about "hypocrisy?"

MEL WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO PICK A FIGHT WITH ME I FEEL FOR MRS VITTERS I FEEL FOR THEIR CHILDREN. I DO NOT GIVE A RATS BEHIND FOR MR VITTERS I GUESS YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND THE CONCEPT OF MR DAVID VITTERS HYPOCRISY IT MUST BE BECAUSE HE HAS AN (R) IN FRONT OF HIS NAME

hy·poc·ri·sy
–noun, plural -sies. 1. a pretense of having a virtuous character, moral or religious beliefs or principles, etc., that one does not really possess.

I did not run for office on the pretense of moral superiority. I did not put myself on a pedistal of moral doctorine all the while cheating on my spouse.

I don't think it is right what happened to Mrs Vitters, I hope she now understands what it is like and will refrain from being so judgemental in the future.

What I would love to see but never will, is them both apologize to the Clintons and the Livingstons families.

In closing, hopefully Mel will oneday understand why this hypocrisy is wrong.

Yes, I see lots of "feeling" in your posts, Beenlurkin. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />

back at ya

And hopefully you will see that when you condemn someone for not being "compassionate" when you are being MEAN YOURSELF that that is the very definition of HYPOCRISY.

Hypocrisy is wrong for ALL, Beenlurkin, not just those you don't like. It is even wrong when you do it. Standards are not just for OTHERS.


OH DEAR. Is this your judgement? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />

Let me get this straight. It is OK for you to judge the Vitters, but not ok for them to judge bill clinton? Just how exactly does that work? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />

yes it is,

I think you condemmed me right from the beginning. I NEVER EVER FELT YOUR COMPASSION.

What "compassion?" How can you "feel" something that doesn't exist? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />

It works because

I did not run for office on the pretense of moral superiority. I did not put myself on a pedistal of moral doctorine all the while cheating on my spouse.

I don't think it is right what happened to Mrs Vitters, I hope she now understands what it is like and will refrain from being so judgemental in the future.

What I would love to see but never will, is them both apologize to the Clintons and the Livingstons families.

In closing, hopefully Mel will oneday understand why this hypocrisy is wrong.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Oh that's right, you only have compassion for hypocites like the Vitters becausee they have an (R) in front of thier name.

I am done have a good night!!

I think you owe an apology to the Vitters for being so judgemental and hypocritical, don't you? Do you not think hypocrisy is wrong for everyone?

You might feel better if you would just apologize. Practice a little forgiveness yourself?

sure, right after you apologize for attacking me

waiting...

yup, that's what I thought

BL,

I had just seen something on tv about this as I was signing on. Believe me, I said the same things she did about my husband having an affair. Did I follow through? No. I forgave him and we are happily in recovery.

Reading your posts made me sick at my stomach. You basically stated since they were vocal against Clinton, she deserved what she got by her husband having an affair.

That is one of the most disgusting things I have ever read on this site.

NO ONE deserves to be cheated on.

I guess because I was vocal about Clinton, that is why my husband cheated and I deserved. DISGUSTING!

Honestly, I am shaking from reading what you wrote.

no apoligies here,
ain't gonna happen

I betcha you would feel better if you did, BL. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Even in these last few posts when you are trying to remake what ever point it is you are trying to make, you are still saying she deserved it.

So, were you cheated on? Or is this how you justify your own actions?

I am so glad you feel so disgusted by Mrs. Vitter - belive me you can not be any more disguted by her than I am of you right now.

I was sick to my stomach for Hilary Clinton. But, I guess she deserved it

right!

NO ONE SAID SHE DID

NO ONE HERE EVER SAID THAT

Well I never blamed Mrs Vitters either, I just had a hard time understanding her foregivness. It seemed that she had alot to say about Hilary, but expects the world to change their view of adultry when it is her husband

You know what I think is really awful and really shows your character, bl?

Is lots and lots of people sign on here looking for help, begging for help.

You never once signed on to help them, did you?

no, you just had to come on and make a politial statement.

You came on to bad mouth a woman who was cheated on- you didn't even make this thread about her husband- no you chose to make it about the victim.

I guess we can see what kind of person you are. Thanks for making that point so nicely for all of us.

Sounds like you are the one who has the problem with forgiveness and "judgementalism." Here you are trotting out some comment made 8 years ago to beat up this victim of adultery as if she somehow had it coming. Sounds about as "compassionate" as a junkyard dog, BL.

I don't have to defend my character to you or anyone else.
I am the type of person who doesn't live in glass houses and throws stones. But I will throw them back any day of the week
I am not blinded by this type of blatant double standard. I believe in marriage, mine and others. If you want to defend blatant hypocrisy then I guess your character is showing too. thank you for pointing that out to the rest of us

I think that would be called "judging," BL.

yes, I am being judged

hey guys 2+2=4

why don't you discredit that for a while
good night

So we can only be judgemental if we are not hypocritical? You seem to be on a moral pedastal of your own. Be careful, it's teetering. No one 'deserves' to be cheated on. Not even the worst of hypocrits.

We are all hypocrits to a degree. We are all judgemental to a degree also.

Turn off the TV. Get your nose out of other peoples personal issues. You obviously have triggers. Why not post about that instead?

To me, this is a perfect example of the "strawman" argument as graplin explained. beenlurkin said nothing of the sort.

Wendy Vitters showed little of Mel's "compassion" for Hillary Clinton when the tragedy of infidelity visited her. It is sad that she is now understanding better the experience.

Infidelity in the news is very frequently discussed on this board from what I see here.

To me, this is a perfect example of the "strawman" argument as graplin explained. beenlurkin said nothing of the sort.

BL most certainly DID say something 'of the sort'.

ba - You are right. I'm sorry, I had missed that sentence. I can't agree with that sentiment.

FS,

I have mixed emotions about this thread but one thing I am not confused about is that you rock.

Wow.....I personally was wondering when this "NEWS" was going to be discussed here on MB.

When I saw Mrs. V on the news last night, I felt such utter compassion for her. I could see my own pain in her face, magnified. I can not in my worst nightmares imagine how awful it must be to be betrayed and then have the guts to stand by your betrayer on NATIONAL TV.

Let's face it, we all (BS) swore that if our S ever did it to us, we'd throw 'em out on their arses.

I still don't understand why we don't. Maybe it is because we love them and still see something in them that is salvagable,,,,a glimmer of hope for a happy marriage.

Me, I'd like to see the Congressman man-up and step down, then I could maybe find a little respect for him, but we all know that ain't gonna happen. Am I surprized, heck no, but then I live in DC.

Perhaps the only positive outcome might be that the Congressman will finally realize what a great lady his wife has to be for standing by him in his darkest hour and maybe even understand that it is her darkest hour too, and he is the one who put out the lights.

Who

Neither Hillary Clinton nor Wendy Vitters deserved to be cheated on by two low character, cheating, perverted and pompous individuals such as their husbands, period. You don't ask to be cheated on to be betrayed.

Yes, perhaps Mrs. Vitters understands better the pain that Mrs. Clinton may have experienced by Slick Willy's betrayals and philandering. It no less makes her a victim in this. Heck, I couldn't believe that Hillary stayed with Bill and to this day believe that she only did so to further her political career (and still believe they will be divorced one day soon). Of course I couldn't believe that I tried to save my ex WW and marriage when I found out she cheated (I said I would not tolerate that ever).

I don't care if you are republican, democrat, liberal, conservative or what, poor character is not a good thing for those entrusted with pubic service.

BeenLurking,

I hear ya. There were plenty of "gloats" on this board when a young pregnant woman was *killed* for goodness' sake, just because she was an OW. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/teary.gif" alt="" />

This sort of news item (repercussions of infidelity) often gets discussed here. Thanks BL for bringing it up.

Yes, we've seen lots of BWs of WH who are politicians. but I don't think I've ever seen one in so much pain. I felt so bad for her. I thought she was going to cry right there on stage - and of course, she's having to "stand by her man."

This isn't the first pol caught with his pants down and unfortunately it won't be the last, of either stripe.

If you want to go back, wasn't Hillary saying (pre-Monica) how *she* wouldn't be a "stand by her man" type of woman? So it came back to bite her. Just as Mrs. Vitter's judgement came back to bite her. Why don't we take a lesson from this, and all stop pointing at sticks in other people's eyes.

I never knew more about how to have a perfect marriage than before I got married. I never knew more about how to be a perfect parent than before I had kids. It is so easy to fall into feeling better than those who are "down" in some way or another. But you never know when you might be the one who is down.

And that's what I wanted to say about this topic.