I think was the angriest at one time, anyway. I haven't looked, but my early posts are probably still here. I was seething with rage...I don't know how I wasn't banned from this site. I acutally WAS banned from that purple site for the same behavior I exhibited here. Many thanks to the powers that be for tolerating me. I don't know where I would've blown off that amount of steam had I been booted.

What surprised me about my anger wasn't how intense it was...it was how long it lasted. Nearly 3 years, and it felt like it was physically killing me. When I finally moved out on my own, the darkness started to lift immediately. 2.5 years later I am a new person.

I'm not a professional and I don't even play one on TV, but if you are struggling with infidelity-induced anger, maybe I can help. Ask me anything. My old marriage wasn't saved, but I now have a chance at a healthy marriage in the future, thanks in no small part to the things I've learned here.

Hi Krazy! I would definitely put you in the top 3, though an exact ranking would be hard to decide.

It's SO GOOD to hear that you are feeling an improvement.

Welcome back!

Thank you both!

I'm happy to say I'm a different person altogether.

So what were some of the things you did on your personal recovery road?

Welcome back dear Krazy.

K71,

Actually "mike_c2", or some name similar, ended up beating OM some time after the end of the affair, which would make him a contender for your crown.

I guess there might be two sub-categories, angriest at Spouse or angriest at other person.

God Bless
Gamma

It's a cliche', but the passage of time helped the most. It allowed me to gain perspective on my life, see things for what they were, and to identify the mistakes I made as a husband.

It was also important to maintain distance from my ex. Communication with her was (and still is) as brief and businesslike as possible. I am civil, but I don't discuss topics like my personal life.

I made new friends and reunited with old ones. I found renewed pride in being a father. I found hope, for lack of a better term. I was a zombie before, but I "woke up".

If memory serves, I owe you a personal apology. No more political talk here from me.

I don't think you were the angriest Krazy.
I think that award goes to



But, of course, his WW tried to kill him dead. Literally.
He was just a wee bit angry.
Wanna hear something funny?
I'm FB friends with that boy.
He's really got a good heart.

We all deserve forgiveness and/or an apology from time to time.

I'm glad you posted.

hey Krazy!! You make a really good point here. I found that I was still furious years later about my XH. [the one I beat up, who left me for the OW] I discovered I wasn't angry anymore when I just stopped talking to him altogether! No trigger, no anger.

Glad to see you around.

Okay I'm pretty new here, but Melody Lane, am I correct in reading that you have an ex-H who you beat up ??? Would you be offended if I giggled at that thought ???? Gulp.

Shoot, the beat down was nothing compared to her eating his truck in front of him while he lay there battered and bleeding.

Always a pleasure to meet another poster with some "spirit"!

I also was deemed a "purple people eater" on that other site and was...excused...from further participation. (Of course I also did two weeks in the sin-bin here - a year ago today, as a matter of fact!)

Welcome back K71.

You mean "banned camp", doncha?

Mel, if you don't stop admitting and owning all these imperfections and mistakes, its going to be real hard to be angry with you the next time we disagree about something... Dang you...

I did not "eat the truck," you silly! I accidentally bashed my car into the back of it. over and over and over again ... I had a run in my stockings and broke a high heel!

Really, the way I heard it Mel, your dumbassexhusband backed INTO your car over and over.
Mel, trust me, it's not your fault.

tis true....

I will never forget the big toof OW's face looking out the back winder crying and screaming "LEAVE US ALONE!!! LEAVE US ALONE!!" She looked very excited!

Ok, maybe I'm only the 4th angriest poster here, but...but...I was really angry.

Shooooot - and someone (on another forum) once accused me of being abusive to my then wayward husband because I pushed him in the chest after learning of his infidelity??!!!!!!

I LOVE Mel's truck story!!!!! Kinda like the way I love that Carrie Underwood song. Can't think of the name of it, but you know the one!

Am I the only one that read dumbassexhusband as dumb-as-sex-husband?

I must be having an off night

I place you at third.
LOL

I did too at first!!!!
lol

Krazy, lemme ask you this.
While you were really angry, did people with a sunny disposition annoy you beyond reason?

Me too.
And I wrote it.

Get in line, buster!!

Were you holding a sledge hammer at the time?

I wish!!!
LOL

Great Question Pep - I often wonder that myself.

Do really angry (raging) blame everyone else kind of people not do well when they given kindness, love, and patience?

This brings me to Plan A. Can Plan A repel the wayward because they cannot be around someone being nice to them, when they are committing such betrayal?

When I was in the angry stage I didn't want anyone patting me on the head saying stupid things like, "It'll blow over... You'll be fine..."

I wanted someone to give me a plan of action to DO something about it.

Melody bashed the truck, beat up the husband AND put a run in her nylons and broke a heel ??? Oh.my.goodness. I'll make sure I follow all her advice lest I get on her bad side !!!

Wooohoooo! That's how a real southern lady deals with it.

Gretchen Wilson must have been inspired by Mel to write "Homewrecker"... (Not with Mel AS the "hopeful" OW of course)

I messed my hair and nails up too!!

Please be sure to note that Melody follows her own advice: she left her gun in her car.

If you take Mel with you, you don't need a gun.

I was excused from that other site for calling a duck a duck. Go figure.

This pleases me greatly.

I'm so happy for you Krazyman.

Happy Anniversary, NG!

Krazy, It's nice to hear you're doing so much better!

I think that your story will help prove that Plan B sure as heck does help people. I wonder though, who was the second most angry person on the boards? WE got 1st, and 3rd recorded, but no 2nd. i haven't been around long enough to know.

Nice to "meet" you Krazy

Chuck Norris is scared of MelodyLane.

Kids wear Superman pajamas.
Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
Chuck Norris wears MelodyLane pajamas.

you people are regular comedians!!

Best laff I had all day!

Notable post!

I remember the angry phase. It was very intense and filled my head with dark thoughts. I remember feeling like my arms were going to explode and my head pounded and I wanted to break something. It took a good friend of mine to make me face my own anger.

I got banned temporarily from this forum for advocating that a BH who had no kids should walk away, count his blessings, and never look back. I advocated that viewpoint one too many times for a particular BH and got a 2 week ban.

I still hold that view, though I don�t keep repeating it once it is said one time.

But I remember your anger. I remember your advice which generally focused on dropping the WS. I think a BS who adopts the attitude that their WS is disposable stands the best chance of recovery. Accepting that they are replaceable is empowering.

Oh yes..."annoy" would be an extreme understatement.

I have my beliefs and they are set in stone, but I've learned to keep them to myself unless I'm asked.

Krazy,

I remember many of your posts from the summer and fall of 2008, when I was new to MB. At the time, I thought anger was sort of a natural state.

Glad you are doing well.

AM

Thank you very much.

Anger is a sickness that starts as an emotional illness, then progresses to a physical condition if left untreated. It's the big bad brother of basic stress.

I would worry tremendously about anyone who experienced infidelity and didn't go through anger and rage. The operative word being "through".

I'm SO GLAD you have made it through.

Me too! Now that I've made it through, I've tried to give advice to a few other BSs. They are some of the most frustrating people on Earth because they NEVER LISTEN!!

Good grief, most of them have their head so far up the WSs [censored] that a crowbar is needed to extract them. LOL

I've been waiting for your response to this.
Thanks.
I trust your honesty.
Did my particular sunny disposition annoy you?

I am using this as a teachable moment for MYSELF, not to help you. You don't need my help.
I "see" myself in a particular light, and I wonder if/when a person is in deep pain/anger .... my natural cheerfulness might be more than annoying?

I think it was more a matter of you and I having differing opinions in the areas of politics and religion. Combine that with a bottomless pit of anger and depression, and BOOM.

OK.
Guess what KZ?
I don't recall any political fights we had!
Plus, I don't give a damn.
I accept people who hold different opinions. Not just tolerate, accept.
Ain't life grand?

I could be getting you confused with another member...I do know I was debating/arguing with people when I was far too angry to be doing so in a civil manner.

Huh-huh...I said "member".

It was me!!

You? Fighting?

Shocking !!!!!!

I know you were one of them. [Deniro voice] You were good, you.[/Deniro voice].

shaddup, Pep!