Helping my best friend (cheating wife) - 07/13/12 05:51 PM
My best friend, a guy I have known for more than 15 years found out this week that his wife had been carrying on an affair with co-worker for the last 13 months. A golfing buddy of his saw them (the cheating wife & her lover) all over each other in a hotel parking garage and he followed them into the hotel. He was able to take some photos and even a short video with his iPhone. My Friend "Peter" 31 y/o (not his real name) and his wife "Rachel" 30 y/o (not her real name) have been married over 6 years, they have two wonderful kids, one just turned 4, the other just turned 2. My best friends golfing buddy "Bryan" called Peter on Tuesday evening and broke the news to him. When Rachel arrived home at 11pm Tuesday night, Peter confronted her with the pictures and video that Bryan had taken. He demanded an explanation; an hour long discussion between Peter and Rachel ensued with her admitting to this 13 month affair with a co-worker (he�s not married). The most hurtful revelation in this conversation was her admission that she had got pregnant by her lover and subsequently had an abortion. Shortly after midnight on Wednesday morning Peter called me and asked me if I could come over, he said he tell what was going when I arrived. Having just fallen asleep I quickly dressed and drove the 15 minutes to his house to find Rachel carrying out a suitcase. She didn�t make eye contact with and only said �Hi� to me. I had a bad feeling in my gut. Peter greeted me at the front door and her car pulled away.
He started with �Rachel has been having an affair�. I was just stunned. Over the next several hours until the sun came up we talked with me doing almost all the listening. I observed 2 rules during our long talk: One, �Shut up and listen�; Two, �Don�t offer an opinion unless directly asked to do so.� He poured his guts out to me the rest of the night. Here is my best friend, a proud and loyal man and pillar of strength and stability reduced to tears. The salient points of their hour long talk were
1) She would move out that night, she did.
2) The kids would stay with him.
3) Details of the affair and why.
4) Their future.
As the Sun began to shine in the living room; he asked me, what do I do now? Wow. Like a bullet it�s you. I told him I would help him in any way I could. I told him to give it 2 weeks, to let all of this sink in. I said you ought to make your children your #1 priority right now and to take a leave of absence from work. I asked him whether he was inclined to file for divorce or try and work it out with Rachel. He stated he inclined to file for divorce and I quickly and completely agreed with his position. I suggested that he talk to a divorce lawyer as soon as possible. I also told him that he needed to call his Dad and Stepmom this morning and bring them into the loop.
Thanks for reading the story: Now I ask all of you,
What else can I do to help my best friend?
What can I expect as his best friend in the days and weeks ahead?
Any advice/comments, or if I need to add clarification are welcome. Positive or negative feedback is welcome so long as it is done in a constructive manner. That means helping Me, Peter, and his kids see this through.
PS: Peter has helped me through tough times in the past and I�m going stand shoulder to shoulder with him.
MidwestBoy
He started with �Rachel has been having an affair�. I was just stunned. Over the next several hours until the sun came up we talked with me doing almost all the listening. I observed 2 rules during our long talk: One, �Shut up and listen�; Two, �Don�t offer an opinion unless directly asked to do so.� He poured his guts out to me the rest of the night. Here is my best friend, a proud and loyal man and pillar of strength and stability reduced to tears. The salient points of their hour long talk were
1) She would move out that night, she did.
2) The kids would stay with him.
3) Details of the affair and why.
4) Their future.
As the Sun began to shine in the living room; he asked me, what do I do now? Wow. Like a bullet it�s you. I told him I would help him in any way I could. I told him to give it 2 weeks, to let all of this sink in. I said you ought to make your children your #1 priority right now and to take a leave of absence from work. I asked him whether he was inclined to file for divorce or try and work it out with Rachel. He stated he inclined to file for divorce and I quickly and completely agreed with his position. I suggested that he talk to a divorce lawyer as soon as possible. I also told him that he needed to call his Dad and Stepmom this morning and bring them into the loop.
Thanks for reading the story: Now I ask all of you,
What else can I do to help my best friend?
What can I expect as his best friend in the days and weeks ahead?
Any advice/comments, or if I need to add clarification are welcome. Positive or negative feedback is welcome so long as it is done in a constructive manner. That means helping Me, Peter, and his kids see this through.
PS: Peter has helped me through tough times in the past and I�m going stand shoulder to shoulder with him.
MidwestBoy