Just wanted you to know that I printed this thread out yesterday & my H & I read over the first part of the H together. He had a lot of input & said he's actively working on fulfilling the spiritual role as leader. He realizes what needs to be done & how he was lacking in these areas for all of our M. It is taking him a little while to get there, but he is making the effort & for that I am truly grateful.

The part for the women I had discovered during our separation & have been working actively on it since then. I have found that it has made a huge difference in the way we treat each other & how my H treats me & this M.

We can't "force" the other to act the way they're "supposed" to act according to God, but we can do something about ourselves & that's where it starts. People would be amazed how changing how YOU behave will fall over into how someone else behaves. I believe the whole key is to focus on yourself, something highly endorsed by the Harleys. If we do "our" share, it's amazing how the other responds to that. They change & they don't even realize until the change has taken place!

Anyway, thanks for starting this. I've also started a thread on Recovery following the woman's role in M, based on the book, A Wise Woman Builds Her House by a Fool Who Tore Hers Down With Her Own Hands by Erin Theile. She has a website called Restore Ministries that shows us women how we have failed God & how we have destroyed our own houses that we hold so dear & shows us how to get back what was lost. I learned a lot from her books & believe she has taken everything she teaches from the Bible.

I thank God for people like you who shine God's light everywhere you go, w/everyone you come in contact with. May God's blessings fall upon you today.

RBW (me) FWH lostboyz
Married for 16 years
DDay on 10/10/03
Reconciliation on 2/8/04
Son 17, Twin son & daughter 16
4 years of a strong recovery