We are just about a year from the start of the A. December of last year found AJ having 'friendly lunches' with his soon-to-be-boss. She cried on his shoulder about her BF breakup about 9 mo (?) before, and I'm sure it seemed natural for him to respond with wife stories.

We actually had a great talk about this just this morning. He does not remember the point where he first became aware that this was no longer just a friendship. Right after the first of the year, he started at his new job. The first couple of days he asked me to bring him lunch, and the Dervish (then 3) and I got to spend some quality time with him, and in the process met the OW.

By week #2, he bit my head off when I offered to bring him lunch. It never crossed my mind that he was anything but tired and cranky. He was still affectionate, and we still told each other ILY many times each day, as we had always done.

I don't remember the exact date, due to the extreme shock of it, but by around the 19th he turned to me in bed one night and said he was thinking of leaving. Come to find out he had already filled out a rental application for a house down the street.

It was like somebody flipped a switch that night. He was so cold, wouldn't touch me, wouldn't say ILY, and suddenly for the first time in our marriage I was Neak, not Sweetheart. He was planning to leave in just a couple of days, so even with my brain exploded to pieces I saw an opportunity to change his mind.

Mostly he was very cold, but I remained warm and loving. On those occasions where his anger erupted, I behaved with humility. I made every effort to keep our home as inviting as possible, and to give him every indication of love that I could. During every spare moment I prayed and begged for guidance, because I had no idea what to do. By listening to the Still Small Voice, I put on a good Plan A before ever hearing of one. It was very counter-intuitive, just as for everyone, but somehow I knew it was our best chance.