How many times have you dragged your feet about doing something, then when you got into action, turned out to enjoy it?

That's why you have to decide to take a positive attitude towards DOING what you are supposed to do. Once you accept your duties, and marriage has duties, then you will just get to doing, instead of sitting around resenting it, or calculating whether you are receiving enough in return.

As I said above, when your spouse is not meeting their duties to try to make you happy, it is only natural to be unhappy, and want to stop trying. That's what most people do, just what they feel like doing. That's why half of all marriages fail.

If you are meeting your duties to your marriage (think of it that way, instead of to a person, your spouse), you will be on a lot firmer ground, and have no problem stating with openness and honesty that you are unhappy with their lack of performance, and you would like to know why.