Originally Posted by StayingStrong32
I'm going to put myself out there right now, which is going to leave myself open to a lot of criticism on this forum. But I feel like it's important in order to conveye the struggle I'm going through.

I've been married for only 5 years, and my wife now has had 2 affairs. That is not a good track record. I believe 1 strike is forgivable. 2 strikes is usually reason to leave. And 3 strikes, especially if it happens sometime in the next 5 years, is even to much for me to handle. As much as I love my wife, I recognize there is a terrible pattern here, and I'm still hopeful that this is a pattern which can be broken. If it happens a 3rd time, I will be sure that it can't be broken, and I'll need to move on. I still want to grow old have more kids with her, but I really need to let her know that I will not allow this anymore.

I know that many of you will say to leave her NOW, but I won't accept that. She's my best friend, we're on our way to a great recovery, she's reading all the MB material and building back my "love bank" which she stole from me (as I say). So this is not an option. But, it is a HUGE leap of faith that she will be faithful for me for the rest of our lives. It's a leap I'm willing to take.

I guess my question is, is it possible for someone with such a bad track record to change and be faithful forever? What is the best way of accomplishing that? She wants to change, and she will do whatever it takes.

I really think you need to allow her between 22.65 and 24.765 strikes before you can be sure that she is incapable of breaking the "pattern". Anything less is, IMO, jumping the gun. She obviously loves you and you should be able to get past a minor series of affairs in relatively short order. Otherwise, you run the risk of being "controlling".
Presumably, she only cheats because her emotional needs are not ebing met and that is all on you. puke