Great post AOTC. Thank you for being much more tactful then others. smile

I respect your advice. Listen, if there was even the Slightest possibilty, I would get a paternity test, but there is 0 chance that my kids are not mine. Trust me on that one.

I guess where I'm at now is I'm just trying to make a happy environment for both of us to have some emotional recovery. As everyone knows, the 3-4 weeks after D-day are an incredibly tiring emotional roller-coaster. For our own sanity, right now we're deciding to get off the roller-coaster for a little bit. We're working on filling our love banks, meeting our emotional needs, and getting used to be a happy married couple again. It's actually been awesome. I mean, I still wake up at 4 a.m. because my mind wanders, but it's not as bad as it's been. It's just wonderful to live in happiness after living through hell for 3 weeks.

So, after we've had a chance to recover emotionally, I may be ready to get on the roller-coaster again. My only real concern is that she hasn't told me the full story about the first A. Even though it was 3 years ago, I still would like to know . I'm thinking about calling my old friend who she had it with, and ask him to tell me the full story so I can compare. I'm scared of what I'll find out, but like you guys say, it's impossible to fully recover without the full story.

In meeting with a therapist, I'm discovering the my whole idea of trust has totally been ruined. I mean, if I can't trust your wife, and I can't trust my best friend, and I can't trust a married mutual friend who goes to our church, the question is "Who the HELL can I really trust???". The only answer I can come up with is "nobody". That is a terrible truth to learn for someone who has always trusted people naturally.

BS (Me): 32
WW: 32
D-Day: 12/28/09 (fresh in my mind)