I think some folks are not aware of why this thread was begun and have lost all perspective. The OP's husband is going to an IC to delve into his "childhood traumas" before he works on his marriage.

Quote:
I feel that his IC is hindering our M though. He had a LOT of childhood trauma. Could be a movie of the week. He hasn't dealt with it. Now he is......


THAT is the problem.

No one ever said that a depressed person shouldn't get on anti-depressants or they should STOP anti-depressants, that is not the issue. [Dr Harley does recommend this too] The issue is the DISTRACTION of delving into one's childhood to solve ADULT PROBLEMS. That is a DISTRACTION, just as Dr Harley states it is.

Just to get folks refocused, here is what Dr Harley says about that:

Originally Posted By: Dr Harley
"An analysis of the betrayed spouse's childhood or emotional state of mind in an effort to discover why he or she would have an affair is distracting and unnecessary. It takes precious time away from finding the real solutions. I know why people have affairs: We are all wired for it. Given certain conditions, we would all do it. Given other conditions, however, none of us would do it. So the goal of the first step is to discover the conditions that made the affair possible and eliminate them."


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101