Originally Posted by bigpicture
Upon data reception through our senses the amygdala chooses to send data to the limbic system (fight or flight system) or the higher thinking center of the cortex. During anger, the amygdala sends this stimulus to the limbic system which is why 'good' people say in courtrooms, "I don't know, something in me just snapped."

The endocrines, hormones and chemicals that are released in the brain may last 20+ minutes after being hijacked by the amygdala. Since the limbic system is in charge during this time the higher critical thinking skills are shut off or short circuited by all the adrenaline. Trying to resolve an argument by talking it out will be pointless until the chemicals in the brain have time to subside.

Its obvious that all emotions are real chemical-physical changes in the brain but it really helps me understand my wife's biggest love buster. And hopefully have patience.

Much credit to http://lakesideconnect.com
Is your wife's "biggest love buster" angry outbursts?

If so, she can and should work to stop this response. The solution is not for you to "have patience" but for her to practice until she learns to stop it.

She can control the outburst immediately by simply not saying anything until she has calmed down. She can also learn to control the feeling of "fight or flight" by using relaxation techniques. I know this is not easy to carry out but it is what she needs to do.

A lovebuster is a lovebuster and your "having patience" with it will simply harm her balance in your love bank.


BW
Married 1989
His PA 2003-2006
2 kids.