I will try and keep it short.
I have been with my partner 8 years. We have 2 children together age 5 & 7. We were only together 6 months when I first fell pregnant. We were very happy together and life was good. I loved my life with him and we got on well. The relationship started to suffer a little after the 2nd child. He didn't cope very well with the lack of attention and sex. There was a few angry outbursts. Then I got very irritated with him because I felt un supported. He use to binge drink a lot at weekends and lie in bed all morning whilst I was up with the kids at night and then still going in the morning.
I think he would get moody if he didn't get enough sex, shut himself off and be cold towards me. Then by the time he snapped out of it I would be annoyed he had been like it in the first place. I started making lots of effort arranging nights out and weekends away and trying to make more effort to have regular sex. Things seemed to get better as long as I was making lots of effort. I must admit I found it tough giving him enough attention with a baby and a toddler, and I was pretty much doing it on my own. I feel like he needs a lot of attention and feel whatever I give him is never enough. When we do have periods of regular sex then he is like 2 different people.
Another issue is that he has never asked me to marry him. He did a half [censored] proposal when I was pregnant, and I always thought he would ask at some point, as we were very much in love, but it never happened. I have never really brought it up properly it until about a year ago. I asked him why he has never asked me - he told me 'Well you have spent about 5 years looking at me like you hate me and what are we going to do pretend we love each other walking up the aisle'.
That comment has really grated on me and I guess now I am thinking well if its that bad whats the point of being together at all? I also feel upset that all the hard work I did bringing up our children and thats all he has to say. Problem is, I love our family unit, I would be devastated if it broke down. I feel like I am rocking the boat when I bring it up. Sometimes I feel like separating because of it, but then I feel that i should remain in the situation mainly for the children and a lot of the time we are happy. Most of the time I will forget about it and then something will happen and I will think yes he doesn't want to marry you does he?
He seems committed in every other way. He hardly goes out with his friends he wants to be with me and the kids, he has me well set up financially with insurances and wills.
Last edited by Reasonswhy; 05/20/19 03:39 PM.