Hi All

So this weekend has gone well.

Only downside was DS this morning got really upset. His friend came over yesterday and asked where is your Daddy, DS said he told him not here at the moment. DS was really upset and said he didnt want to tell anyone about our family business. He then asked me why cant we be a normal family? He then said that BF had said that we argue all the time. The DS said I am sorry that Daddy doesnt want to be with you Mummy. DS hugged me and cried. Its heartbreaking. I told him that I was upset with what happened with the OW. It is so difficult to know what to say to them now as time goes by. DD also had a dream that her Daddy died last night. I know the OW was a single mum and I bet she has convinced BF that the children will be fine and get use to the situation and be better off.

I may have broken Plan B a little?! I went to watch DS at football this morning he was playing an important match and i have missed going so mch - so this was the first time I set eyes on BF for 3 weeks since Plan B started. He was over the other side of the pitch as he is coach and it went fine. I did notice he tried to get eye contact a few times. I also noticed that everytime DS saved a goal BF looked at me. I watched from the side with DD, and left 5 minutes before the end. I did make sure I was looking good, laughing and mixing with the other parents.

I felt fine seeing him. I did look at him and could not imagine giving him the letter. I think he will laugh straight in my face if he reads it.

I am doing really well though, I am chuffed. I slept well last night and handled the football well. I spent the day having a spring clean and getting organised after working and looking after the children all week. I even sat down and watched 'Gone with the Wind'! I cooked myself a healthy dinner and had a glass of wine. I haven't done anything like that for ages.

I have also booked a girls weekend to Spain for June, normally when I was with BF i wouldn't do stuff like that. I need to think what I will do with the children, there is a week school holiday coming up. BF will want to have a couple of nights with them too frown . So will have to think of something fun to do!

Last edited by Coolbeginnings; 02/02/20 11:15 AM.