What a difference a day makes! I had a great nights sleep last night and it has made me feel so much better. It seems when I have a decent nights sleep the days go by so much better.

I had a calm lovely morning with the kids. The sun was shining through the house. The kids seem so much better and calmer. It is nice not to be around someone who is so cold, distant and moody with you. There would be no 'have a good day at work darling', just seeing to himself before we all leave. I am starting to feel that I would be just ok without him and could never go back to that environment. DS gave me a cuddle in bed and hugged me and said I wish Daddy was here I miss him, I also said I miss him too. I kissed the kids this morning and hugged them tight, they are at Daddys tonight and i will next see them tomorrow after school.

I remember looking at BF once at home, and realising even before I spoke to DR Harley that the only way this would be resolved would be a separation. I just knew but I remember thinking if you do CoolB HAVE FAITH, in what you are doing, he absolutely loves you. I think he has gotten a little lost and does not how to deal.

Sometimes I look back and see where it all started to go wrong. It was definetly after I had the 2nd baby and I guess BF checked out. I am so annoyed that I did not get him more attention. I looked back at some of our emails to each other, we were in constant contact daily for 9 years, exchanging voice messages, texts emails daily. You can see the change in the emails but when things were good, they were so good, we were so happy on top of the world!

I think BF gets the Plan B letter tomorrow.