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I slept for 10 hours last night must have needed that good cry yesterday!
BF now set up a WhatsApp group with my IM and his sister and my IM has responded!!! Ahhh. He is so pushy it’s untrue. I think my IM thinks that she would keep the peace that way. Why is it so hard and why does he keep setting up WhatsApp groups copying in everyone?!?! Tell her to delete the app. That is just ridiculous. This is completely unnecessary. Kids FaceTimed BF last night. He was in London Working this is where OW was from. Usually he stays up on a Thursday night which I assume is when he has been taking her out. He made it very clear in a loud voice that he wasn’t staying up there and was getting the 7pm train home. Yeah right as if I believe that one. This is another breech of Plan B. Your kids don't need to facetime with him. They can take his calls in their room where you don't have to listen. EASY FIX. She was so lovely about it. She said my husband text him a couple of weeks ago and never heard back that will be why. She said it sounds like he is having a mid life crisis...! There is no such thing as mid life crisis. I am glad you are feeling better, but it is very important that you close these Plan B gaps! Plan B means you see and hear nothing from him!
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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He is driving me crazy with his WhatsApp issues!! Will sort in the morning when I see IM. Will get her to block him and only send messages direct.
So today DS was off sick and IM let BF know. Message back via IM was do I want BF to pick up DD if that would help as he has governors meeting at the school. I asked her to respond no thank you.
Then I get to the school and his car was parked out the front where I normally park so I went and parked round the back entrance and walked through the back gate. Then when I was coming out the exact time I normally leave I saw BF drive past the front. What is going on?
Anyway I am off out for dinner with the girls tonight! Off to get ready and glam myself up! First night out in 4 weeks!
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Thank you Melody
He is a very pushy man and use to getting his way! People are afraid to stand up to him in case it sets him off. He is very persistent in his comms.
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He is driving me crazy with his WhatsApp issues!! Will sort in the morning when I see IM. Will get her to block him and only send messages direct. How is he even contacting you if you have shut down all avenues of contact? He should not have the ability to reach you. Anyway I am off out for dinner with the girls tonight! Off to get ready and glam myself up! First night out in 4 weeks! Have fun!!
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Thank you Melody
He is a very pushy man and use to getting his way! People are afraid to stand up to him in case it sets him off. He is very persistent in his comms. Ok, but they all need to toughen up.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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You can change your whatsapp settings that you only can be added to a whatsapp group if you give permission. Easy fix. Do it now for your own account and tell your IM and mother to do the same.
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Open WhatsApp on your phone, and go to Settings > Accounts > Privacy.
Tap on Groups, and select the option that suits you best. The first one will prompt the user adding you to first send an invitation that you can approve: – Nobody (this prevents anyone from adding you to a group without an invitation)
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Adding you, your mom or your IM to groups is not a sign of care, it is a sign of control. Don't confuse the two. Plug the holes, you like the breaches to much.
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Adding you, your mom or your IM to groups is not a sign of care, it is a sign of control. Don't confuse the two. Plug the holes, you like the breaches to much. Yes I know your so right. Plug the holes. Just went out for dinner with gf tonight. He has been doing some building work for another gf and her partner. He messaged my other gf in the week mentioning about something not been quite right. Every where I turn there is HIM. I did like the breaches but not anymore. Go away leave me alone and let me heal please. In private.
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Now getting really annoyed.
Go out with GF tonight oh BF has been messaging Abbie (he is doing work for her and her partner on their house), then he made some sceptic comment to Abbie about you and he could do with a chat. Abbie happens to be very attractive but happy with her partner.
Go to Yoga on tuesday and friend Shelley said oh havent seen you for ages, but I heard from your BF last week, he emailed me to tell me all about his boxing ect?!!? Shelley also happens to be very happily married.
I am fuming about this. I was NEVER allowed to have any male friends let alone talk to a guy and here he is messaging my attached friends. WHY???? Its so embarrassing and hurtful.
Leave me alone haven't you caused me enough pain?
Last edited by Coolbeginnings; 02/07/20 06:29 PM.
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Adding you, your mom or your IM to groups is not a sign of care, it is a sign of control. Don't confuse the two. Plug the holes, you like the breaches to much. I know thats its control. Its like I am running the show here - this is how its going to be run thank you. He has never really shown any care.
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Embrace your inner plumber.
The moment one of your friends mentions bf, interrupt her and explain he cheated on you and you need to be protected from this man as long as he doesn't change. A real friend will support you.
Prepare a simple summary of the situation and your plan (bf cheated and was having angry outbursts, until he changes his behaviour, I will avoid any contact, so can we please change the subject before it takes me back to the horrible situation I was in?)
Next time a friend mentions bf contacting her, ask her support and to protect you from breach of NC.
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Oh dear. So my best friend who is my IM has just called to tell me that she really doesn't want to do the role of IM. She has only done it for 2 days. That she has been suffering from some strong anxiety issues and that this making it worse. I think she didn't expect it to be so full on. So back to the drawing board. I had such a good day yesterday - you guys are right you crave a DARK Plan B as you feel better. I hate this, I really really hate this and just want it to be over. I think being with him was better than this. It is a gorgeous sunny afternoon today, and I have been playing with my children in the garden and now they have gone to their Dads  I can't see me being able to move on at all. I am not crying but just thoroughly fed up.
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ugh...Do you have a friend, male or female, that is stable and strong willed? The job of IM is really not that hard at all when you do it right.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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ugh...Do you have a friend, male or female, that is stable and strong willed? The job of IM is really not that hard at all when you do it right. I dont think its hard at all. I need to have a think! He is very full on and I guess people think its a few messages a week not a few messages a day.
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If the visitation schedule is solid, and the IM firm, it will only be a few messages a week (at most). The IM doesn't need to respond to every whim. Just mute the whatsapp and check every afternoon at 17. BF needs to be properly trained 
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If the visitation schedule is solid, and the IM firm, it will only be a few messages a week (at most). The IM doesn't need to respond to every whim. Just mute the whatsapp and check every afternoon at 17. BF needs to be properly trained BF is not a trainable character 😂. I mean that. He is a formidable force that most people are terrified of. Everyone is worried about upsetting him. When ofcourse anything you do will upset him. Considering doing it myself. Really don’t want to. I am racking my brains but no one really wants to do it because of the kind of character he is.
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ugh...Do you have a friend, male or female, that is stable and strong willed? The job of IM is really not that hard at all when you do it right. I dont think its hard at all. I need to have a think! He is very full on and I guess people think its a few messages a week not a few messages a day. But they don't have to reply to those messages or do anything with them. All they have to say is: "thank you for your message." And only pass on absolutely PERTINENT MESSAGES about visitation and finances. It is not a hard job at all. You just need someone who has some spine and is not easily rattled. AND that person has to be willing to respct your wishes and not interfere with your Plan B.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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[
Considering doing it myself. Really don’t want to. That is not Plan B. Why cave only because he is a bully? Rewarding a bully only emboldens him, at your expense! I am racking my brains but no one really wants to do it because of the kind of character he is. Your sister can't do the job?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I really don’t want to have to ask my sister again, she is very firm and has balls but also a drama queen and can’t cope with the gossip mongering that comes with it telling everyone who she meets.
Shame I can’t ask my brother who is in the police! Different time zone though in Australia!
Last edited by Coolbeginnings; 02/08/20 11:19 AM.
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