You're also breaking your Plan B by constantly thinking about BF and writing about him. These are also holes in your Plan B that you need to close if you want to heal. Many of us have gone through what you're going through, and we feel for you because of that. When I read your posts, I can feel the stress and anxiety you're having from constantly thinking and talking about BF. If you really want the healing of Plan B, you can't let him occupy your mind like this. You'll be constantly triggered if you do. It's a hard habit to break, I know from experience.

I remember a great suggestion one of the forum vets gave once. If you find your mind wandering back to thoughts about BF, picture a big red stop sign, then think of something else. I've heard that others break a habit by wearing a rubber band around their wrist, and snapping it when they catch themselves thinking about a trigger. Whatever you have to do to train yourself to stop dwelling on BF.

Good luck, and I hope you feel better!


BH (me) 50, WxW 47
Married 1994
D-day, plan A, & exposure Jan 2017
Divorced Nov 2017