Originally Posted by Coolbeginnings
Then I get the children back on Thursday and BF wants to take DS to a rugby match on Sunday, when it is my day with him. I am torn. My son doesnt even play or like rugby but BF is saying it is a once in a lifetime opportunity.

Very important you not to let BF know you care. That means smiling and saying nothing to the children about how much you miss them. I remember my XH telling me he wanted the dog in the divorce. I immediately said 'no problem, when would you like her?'. At that point the request for the dog magically vanished from the divorce papers. BF is doing this to needle you. Don't be needled.

At the same time, hand off the issue of how and when to see his father to DS. Tell DS that you will support whatever decision he makes. That you know it is important he has a relationship with his father but that he should tell his father what he likes and what he does not like. But quietly keep careful records of every visit to his father and everything your son says to you with dates and times.

3 adult children
Divorced - he was a serial adulterer
Now remarried, thank you MB
(formerly lied_to_again)