Oh dear - I really really miss him today. I miss the old BF not the person he turned into.

I don't know where this is going to end up. I am doing so much better than the early days and the longer I am away from him the more I am starting to see his poor treatment of me, no wonder I felt so awful the last year.

Still hiding a bit from life and facing people.

There are the friends I really trust and who have been awesome. However, there is people who I have seen who are just after the gossip and keep asking me for the latest 'update'. Quite embarassing really.

I have two sisters one who has been amazing the other who I have never really got on with. I have always felt with the other sister that she has always liked to see my fail and has always been quite jealous of me. I have kind of cut her off through this process. He had only been gone about 5 days and she started to tell lots of people what happened and I ended up pulling her about it and saying it is for me to tell people not you. I really cant be round disingenious people at the moment - does anyone get that? ONly people who have my really interests at heart.

You certainly find out who your true friends are through this process.

Still that aside I really do miss us being a family and all the fun we had. Praying daily.