Thank you Living_well - I cannot tell you how much strength I get through your posts.

OK so I have emailed my brother who is acting as IM to tell him no contact through my mobile as per the letter I sent him. Last door closed. I am most scared to do this of all things. I know how BF works and if he wanted to come back he would just do it by opening the lines of communication rather than any grand gesture.

Will tell DD to let Daddy know about overnight stay. DS & DD always seem afraid to tell their father how they feel, they are always worried about upsetting him.

I have an appointment booked with the solicitors for this Friday to discuss finances and custody.

I also need to realise that this process is building up my life too. I should see it as a chance to make my life great with or without him.

We were suppose to be going to the Caribbean 3 weeks in April all booked and paid for, maybe I should go on my own with the kids???