Originally Posted by Coolbeginnings
Thank you Living_well - I cannot tell you how much strength I get through your posts.

Originally Posted by Coolbeginnings
OK so I have emailed my brother who is acting as IM to tell him no contact through my mobile as per the letter I sent him. Last door closed. I am most scared to do this of all things. I know how BF works and if he wanted to come back he would just do it by opening the lines of communication rather than any grand gesture.

He will have to convince your IM that he has turned himself around. Brother will be far more objective than you so trust him.

Originally Posted by Coolbeginnings
Will tell DD to let Daddy know about overnight stay. DS & DD always seem afraid to tell their father how they feel, they are always worried about upsetting him.

Children can cope with the truth, it is lies that damage them. Talk to them both together. Explain that Daddy will not listen to you because he will just think you are doing this to get at him. But that DD can ask DS to advocate for her if she is worried.

Originally Posted by Coolbeginnings
I have an appointment booked with the solicitors for this Friday to discuss finances and custody.

You will feel so much better once you have done this. Be sure to tell solicitor he is threatening to move back in 4 months. You may need an order of protection.

Originally Posted by Coolbeginnings
I also need to realise that this process is building up my life too. I should see it as a chance to make my life great with or without him.

Yes indeed

Originally Posted by Coolbeginnings
We were suppose to be going to the Caribbean 3 weeks in April all booked and paid for, maybe I should go on my own with the kids???

That's a tough one. Of course you should go if you can but what if he shows up? He is just as entitled to be there as you are. Maybe ask the solicitor about this one on Friday.

3 adult children
Divorced - he was a serial adulterer
Now remarried, thank you MB
(formerly lied_to_again)