It’s all turned into an absolute disaster.

He has hoovered me right back up.

He spent the day here yesterday not really interested in seeing the children, just in talking to me. I ended up getting in a conversation with him.

Him telling me how this pandemic has made him rethink everything. That it is putting everything in perspective. How his business partner thinks he should just come home. He then went to kiss me and I let him do that and then I pushed him away.

I allowed myself to get in a conversation with him and also to be manipulated by him, with no real change. I am so annoyed with myself.

I honestly don’t feel like I can do this. The pain of being away from him is so awful but the pain of him being near me in worse.


Last edited by Coolbeginnings; 03/28/20 04:51 AM.